Baby mama and baby daddy... All in the context?

Baby mama and baby daddy may be acceptable terms, depending on how you're using them, which I think is true of all words. If you're using it to put down and objectify another person, specifically the person that you chose to sleep with and bear the child of (under normal circumstances) then no, I don't think it's okay.

When I was pregnant, my husband and I used to joke all the time... “You're gonna be my baby daddy!” “You're my baby mama!” and it was fun and exciting and enjoyable... Endearing, even. And in that case I think it's perfectly reasonable to use those words.

There are plenty of “derogatory” terms that can be used endearingly, I think. It's not uncommon for my best girlfriend to call me and be like, “Hey, b*tch.” Not because she hates me or thinks I am one (okay, she does, but she loves me still, lol) It's just a greeting, nothing more. To me it's kind of like saying hey... I know you and am comfortable enough with you to use terms like this and it's okay because we're besties. It's showing a certain level of trust and being herself, so I like it! But if I answered the phone and a telemarketer or nurse said the same thing... Well, I wouldn't be so pleased.

I think words are all about context, mood, and our intention behind them.

If you're saying “baby daddy” or “baby mama” as a way of saying the parent of your child is not as helpful or stable as you'd like, that's kind of rude. I'm all for efficiency, seriously, but I feel like there are succinct ways to say this without having to resort to name calling. I mean, if you're with your best friend and it slips... whatever. We all need to vent, you know? But if you're using the term on a regular basis, I think it may start to reflect on you as a person and not taking your role in the situation seriously.

I mean, I get it... Some guys act like they're going to be all in and helpful and good guys and they bail. And that sucks. And I don't understand how people do that, I really don't. But... If you're old enough to have sex and have a child, you're old enough to be beyond consistent name calling. It's not fun to be around super judgmental people who are harping about it all the time.

If you're using it as a simple explanation (as in, a quick way to say the mother/father of my child/ren) or a term of endearment, then who cares? Call each other whatever you want. If you're fine with being baby mama, talk about your baby daddy all you want. It doesn't have to be a bad thing! Context, context, context!

What about you? Do you think “baby mama” and “baby daddy” are acceptable terms?

What other ways are there to convey the same point?

Is deadbeat dad any better of a term?

At what point is political correctness just going overboard?

02
Moms Expertise
    06/09/14
    amanda
    I think in a lot of cases the way people use it comes off disrespectful and immature. If that's all they are to you then you shouldn't be having a baby together. It indicates that there isn't or never was an actual relationship behind the parents. Aka sperm donors and egg donors.
    2
      If you're being funny or cute among close people, that's one thing. When I hear these terms in regular discourse, however, I scrunch up my face--I don't like them. They're just too slang in a place I don't feel slang officially belongs. I appreciate your article, Cassaundra Owens--I think you sift through the discomfort very well.
      1
      About Cassaundra Owens
      Birth: February 13
      On Moms.com since: Oct 11, 2013
      I'm a little strange, pretty green, and learning to live life as a wife, future mother, and entrepreneur. Right now, my husband and I are trying for our first after 3.5 years of infertility and 2 losses. Viva la adventure! Join me too at MortalMommy.com!