How to Get Pregnant After a Miscarriage - My Experience

After all of six of my miscarriages we have waited until my bleeding had stopped before resuming intercourse, sometimes longer depending on how I was feeling. Usually my doctor's/midwife's recommendation has been 4-6 weeks, much like a normal pregnancy. 

Some of my doctors recommended waiting a few months before getting pregnant again after a miscarriage. Since we do not use birth control, we mostly let «nature» take its course. Though with bad miscarriages when I have lost a lot of blood and my iron was low we were more careful because we wanted me to be back to my healthy self before conceiving.

My first miscarriage was my second pregnancy and I remember wanting to get pregnant as soon as possible and it only took a couple of months. My miscarriage occurred in March and I conceived in June. I remember being concerned but breathing a sigh of relief once I was past the 12 week mark. We didn't really do anything out of the ordinary. I usually charted my cycle and figured out our window of opportunity and we'd try to have intercourse within that time frame.

My second miscarriage happened when I was 18 weeks along and was very traumatic for me since I essentially delivered a dead baby. He had died in utero and we opted to induce rather than wait due to circumstances in our life at the time. I was afraid to get pregnant again after that loss, but conceived almost right away and then lost that baby too. :(  Number 3 miscarriage. Talk about guilt and talk about being afraid, I actually worked myself into anxiety attacks in my next pregnancy which occurred 3 months after my third miscarriage because I was so afraid of losing our baby. Thankfully, she was born healthy and happy.

My fourth miscarriage occurred in early 2009, it was one of my earlier miscarriages, meaning it occurred within 8-10 weeks rather than 12-18 weeks, and we were staying with my husband's mom while my husband tried to get our new flooring laid without eight of us being under foot. Because we did not want my mother-in-law to know I was pregnant yet, I went about life as usual, including shoveling snow out of the driveway! Talk about guilt when I lost that baby. It took me a while to recover from that loss physically because my iron was so low. Again it was a matter of a few months before I was expecting again but lost that baby to a fifth miscarriage in June of the same year. I got pregnant again pretty much right away and had our last child in 2010. Again, we really didn't do anything out of the ordinary and did not use birth control of any kind.

My sixth miscarriage was two months ago on the 13th of August. I was 14 weeks along and to be honest I have no desire to become pregnant again and we are avoiding each other during my fertile time, which just passed actually. Our baby, Michael, was perfectly formed. We found him easily, a miracle really, as we have not always seen the baby or even known its gender. Only 2 out of 6 miscarriages do we know what gender we had and both were boys. Matthew and Michael.

I think getting pregnant after a miscarriage is not so much the how as to the when. When is the timing right for you, your body (mind and soul too!)  and your husband are ready. Miscarriages usually cause a lot of grief, in the mom especially, and it takes time to get over. So my advice is to listen to your body, your doctor's recommendations of course and take one day at a time.  You will know when you are ready to try to conceive again and sometimes life will surprise you and you'll be pregnant before you are ready. Embrace the season you are in, but allow yourself to work through the emotions and grief miscarriages can cause. Talk to a grief counselor, if need be, or another mom who has experienced a miscarriage and definitely chose to remember your lost baby because it is healing to do so.

8Theresa GouldChicago, Illinois
Moms Expertise
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    8Theresa Gould
    Thank you, Leah.
    About Theresa Gould
    Current: Chicago, Illinois
    Birth: August 10
    On since: Aug 5, 2013
    ***Baby Team Leader*** I have been married for over 20 years. My husband and I have eight children ages 18 down to 4 years old. We use to live in Chicago but now live in Canada. I own