My closest aunt died on Saturday

My mom's oldest sister is/was one of my closest aunts. I helped her after surgery, visited her over vacations, she took all her nieces and nephews places and spoiled us and sent us home! :) She was 71 and I haven't seen her since 2005, but she'd call me and I'd call her but in recent months I haven't called because my mom said her mind was starting to go and I was afraid she wouldn't remember me. Now that she's gone, I feel guilty for not calling. What did it matter if she didn't remember me? I could still be there for her!

My family has been posting photos on Facebook and each time I see them I start crying. My other aunt (mom's sister, she has five sisters) sent me a photo of Auntie J and I when I was younger, it's adorable and I started blubbering again. Grief is a nasty beast and sometimes I think it's harder when you are farther away from loved ones because I am missing out on grieving with everyone else, but maybe it's just in my head.

00
8Theresa GouldChicago, Illinois
    06/16/14
    Comment deleted
    06/16/14
    8Theresa Gould
    Thanks, Tracy. I'm trying to.
    0
      06/16/14
      Comment deleted
      06/16/14
      8Theresa Gould
      Unexpected bouts of crying just are not fun.
      0
        06/16/14
        Comment deleted
        06/16/14
        8Theresa Gould
        That's a kind way of thinking of it. I sure hope so. We named our third daughter after her (middle name) and I think she was truly surprised but she was a very important part of my growing up years....as I cry typing.
        0
          06/16/14
          Sorry for your loss Theresa.
          1
          06/20/14
          8Theresa Gould
          Thank you, Lindsay.
          1
            06/16/14
            Comment deleted
            06/20/14
            8Theresa Gould
            Thanks, Sheila!
            0
            06/20/14
            8Theresa Gould
            I could probably if I flew home but my husband doesn't know my paper routes...yet and it would be completely frustrating for him to go a day or two and have me leave. :( Believe me, I have thought about it!
            0
            06/20/14
            8Theresa Gould
            It is hard. The past couple of days I have just been pushing it aside, like not reading the article on dementia - I still have it open to read but haven't yet.
            0
              06/16/14
              Comment deleted
              06/20/14
              8Theresa Gould
              I appreciate it, Nikki.
              1
              About Theresa Gould
              Current: Chicago, Illinois
              Birth: August 10
              On Moms.com since: Aug 5, 2013
              ***Baby Team Leader Moms.com*** I have been married for over 20 years. My husband and I have eight children ages 18 down to 4 years old. We use to live in Chicago but now live in Canada. I own www.FaithandFamilyReviews.com.