Excited Older Sister is Turning Domineering

Out of the 2 kids, Erik's daughter is excited about having a baby sister. She's even called herself the built in babysitter and will babysit anytime, will skip school even and be at our door step everyday. She is 11 years old going on 12 in September. She's a good age where we could call upon her to do paid babysitting when baby turns into a toddler..maybe. We'll have to see how she does with the baby. Of course, we would never allow her to skip school or extracurricular activities to babysit.

During the last couple of months, she's gotten really bossy about decisions Erik and I have made about crib bedding, baby's going home outfit from hospital, baby's first Halloween costume, etc. For example, she's said "Oh, no, no monkey themes. She's a little princess and should have a princess theme....You're looking for a 2nd stroller? My mom and I got her a stroller already. I get to help choose the Halloween costume so you have to take me shopping, and you can't get it without me.".... Erik thinks it's cute, but I find it a growing annoyance. It would be fine if she was considerate about her choice of words, like "I'd like to help..."Can I help choose..." Then again she's also 11.

I'm in my mid 30s and this might be the only baby I have. I want those decisions to be shared with Dad NOT taken over by excited older sister.

Anyone have any ideas/suggestions as to what I/Erik can do or say to her when she starts getting domineering?

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06/16/14
I wish I could be that brutally honest. Erik, in general, has always been very laxed with his kids and lets them get away with almost anything... Yeah, I'll have to talk with him about this because he's also suggested that his daughter help open up baby shower gifts. I'm thinking what??? That's what I do or WE do that together....I get that he wants his kids to be involved and he's excited that she's excited to be an older sister, but I want those special moments reserved for us. Glad you don't think I'm being petty over this...
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    06/16/14
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    06/16/14
    Totally doable to let her choose within the choices I make. I like this suggestion because it lets her know that I still call the shots yet am very willing to compromise and allow her to be involved too. I hope Erik sees it this way as well. We'll see. I wonder if it will come out sounding more firm from Erik if he lets her know that she has some limited decision making, and that the decisions will come from primarily a shared decision with him and me.
    0
      06/17/14
      She is too young to be a baby sitter in fact a bossy one
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        06/17/14
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          06/17/14
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            06/17/14
            Melissa Middleton
            Don't you JUST love that bossy age? Lol...kidding. I would let her help with some stuff, and let her change the baby's diaper when she arrives, or help bathe her, etc. so she doesn't feel left out. But you are not being petty. She sounds very controlling. And, this is YOUR baby. This is your first, and it is a special time for you and your hubby.
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              06/17/14
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              About MaryJane
              Birth: March 25
              On Moms.com since: Apr 18, 2014
              Pregnant back to back. I have a baby girl and another on the way. I'm also a pseudo-step mom to 2 tweens.