Don't compare me to your ex!

Does your partner ever compare you to his ex? Good or bad, does he ever bring up things about his past relationships if they are similar in some way to something you are discussing or going through? If they do, do you mind when they do it? If they don't, what do you think the reason is for that?

03
    06/20/14
    No, never. If I didn't know he had one, I'd never know she existed.
    0
      06/20/14
      He's not the kind of guy that would and he also knows that if he did the butt kicking he would recieve would be brutal! Lol his mom did it to me once and the chewing out she got from me was so bad it's been a year and a half since we've heard from her. My husband was standing by me when I did it and I think he knows not to ever compare me to his ex just from that situation. Lol
      0
        06/20/14
        8Theresa Gould
        Nope. My husband only ever had one other serious relationship and it was nothing to the relationship we have together. Plus, my husband has this uncanny ability to leave the past in the past where it belongs.
        0
          06/20/14
          I've always wondered if maybe I am sensitive in this area, but I don't think I am. It seems like my boyfriend brings up his ex a LOT during our conversations. For example, I have been skipping periods, I probably have ovarian cysts. Sometimes I still get the cramping and when I do get a period it's rough.

          So this past month I explained to him that it was a rough period, I was feeling really worn down. He goes on to tell me how his ex had such big problems with hers that she had a hysterectomy.

          I. Don't. Care. I find it disrespectful to even go there with me. I'm talking about ME, I don't care if your ex has a friggin sex change and renamed herself Carl. I don't want to know!

          FTR, she didn't lol. It's just the point.
          2
          06/20/14
          8Theresa Gould
          I'd probably get upset too if he was doing it a lot. Maybe he isn't aware that he is doing it? Maybe he is just relating in the way he knows how and with what he knows from his previous relationship? Not saying it is right but maybe he isn't aware of how much he's doing it and it bothers you. Have you tried to talk to him and explain how you feel? Even if it is in simple terms that when you are discussing yourself, you'd prefer he listen and if you are comfortable tell him to leave his ex out of the conversation....it might get murky though because to say that you'd have to be willing for there to be an ensuing argument, at least I'd expect one if it were me. But I don't know how it works for the two of you. Have you been together long? How long ago did he break up with his ex?
          0
          06/20/14
          Oh yes, I have made it quite clear. He still does it. I think he just doesn't THINK about how I feel when it comes to this, if that makes sense. I have gotten to the point where I will be rude about it, which is very much against my nature. When he made that comment I said "Oh yeah, I think you have told me this before LOTS of times." and just stared at him.

          There's a WHOOOOOLE lot more back story here and he should know better at this point to even bring her up.
          0
          06/20/14
          8Theresa Gould
          Ick, then, if he knows and still does it. :( Bah humbug! I don't get it then and am sorry you have to go through it.
          0
            06/20/14
            Uh yeah that would be a no no with me! Situations like that where my husband may not understand that he's saying something I don't like I try and resolve with humor. I will normally tackle him and shake him and tell him what I didn't like while I'm shaking him. Normally we are both cracking up but it gets the point across and he doesn't do it again. Lol
            0
              06/20/14
              Me and my husband must be the worst. He runs to his Ex each time we have a fight. Not physically thank God she lives in London but on phone and emails. And it always lives me wondering about my Ex. He was my first and I probably loved him more than my husband but I don't go to him when things get rough.
              0
              06/20/14
              8Theresa Gould
              That must be hard Octavia. I can only imagine how hurt and angry I would be if my husband did that.
              0
                06/21/14
                4dana Johnson
                ex's only get brought up if it has to do with the kids
                0
                  06/21/14
                  Sometmes
                  0
                    06/21/14
                    Comment deleted
                    06/21/14
                    4dana Johnson
                    most people especially older people think the man is supposed to take care of and support the wife and children
                    0
                      06/22/14
                      Tonya
                      My husband did a lot when we first started dating. It really bugged me and I told him. Now he he is a lot better and only talks about ex's once in a while. He does it now more to talk about places he has gone etc. He doesn't compare me anymore.
                      0
                        07/16/14
                        Erik doesn't so much but his mom surely does! Use to irritate the crap outta me, but she is who she is, so now I just go with it when she mentions how "ex wife" did it. When I first went on disability for the pregnancy, she said ex wife was vomiting and nauseous everyday, but she wasn't a wimp. I can read between the lines - she said I was a wimp.

                        I am curious so I'll ask Erik how ex wife did certain things. It used to make him feel uncomfortable, but he's so used to it and has gotten to be really open about some past funny stories. I like hearing about them. They really are humorous.
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                        About Melissa
                        Birth: December 31
                        On Moms.com since: Mar 3, 2014
                        I am a single mom of two fantastic kiddos that I love to pieces. Currently in school working towards my teaching degree. You can find me most days on www.mommathoughts.com when I am not here chit chatting! :)