I don't know what to do.

My son was playing on the tablet earlier and he had opened up my husbands gtalk which is similar to texting and normally i dont care but i glanced down and saw something he wrote to one of his friends and i just wanted to cry. He said he feels like getting married was a mistake, he says he loves me, but if he really did why would he think marrying me was a mistake, is he just staying with me because we have a baby and another one on the way? I don't want to stay with someone who doesn't love me. It's not fair to either of us, but it isn't fair to Gabriel or the other baby either. I just want to curl up in a ball and cry until there is nothing left, of course i know i can't do that, and how am i supposed to bring something like that up? I dont want to say i saw it on gtalk but i just dont know what to do! I dont even want to see him now, my heart feels like it was just torn from me, and i don't know if i will ever get it back. Do i talk to him to i just hold on to it? I know i love him with everything but because of that i don't want him stuck with me if he doesn't love me the way that i need to be loved. :'(

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    06/25/14
    Have you ever felt like getting married was a mistake? Even for a brief moment? I think that's actually a normal thought to have and then you process it and deal with it.

    I am SURE it was hurtful to read. That said, look at the whole, not that one comment you saw. If yu want to bring it up to him you could, but think about why you are doing it. Do you need reassurance? Or, do you REALLY think he sees your marriage as the biggest mistake and OMG what the hell did he do?

    Look at the big picture and try to understand that even those that love us don't always like us. Or their own situation. That doesn't mean anything more than they are human and might have been having a bad day or whatever. Keep it in perspective.
    1
      06/25/14
      That is such a hard situation to be in, my thoughts are with you. Maybe you could bring it up one night when the baby is a sleep and just say something like I feel that things have been really tense and a little different lately, is everything okay? Or something like that. I went through something similar with my SO, I totally understand where you come from.It might not seem it, but everything will work out the way it should.
      1
        06/25/14
        Last night, I watched "The Little Black Book".. kind of a lame movie really. But it brights to mind a very important question that one of the characters had said.

        If your whole life is the fairy tale you've dreamed of, then your mate passes on and you find that he's had another life the whole time, does it take away from what you had with him?

        It is a completely normal reaction to question if you made the right decision. The last line of your post says that you don't want him stuck with you if he doesn't love you the way that you need to be loved. Were you being loved the way that you needed to be loved before you found this text?

        As a mature woman and mother to his children, it is your choice to either sit with him and have a talk, or take it with a grain of salt, as a comment that he made to someone else in a conversation that was not meant for you.

        Tread lightly hon. We often find what we're looking for. Good luck to you.
        2
          06/27/14
          Well I talked a little with my dad and he said that even when him and my mom were younger there where times he questioned if marrying was the right thing but it doesn't mean they dont love you or that they dont want to be with you but the responability with becoming a parent is hard (everyone knows that) but it makes you wonder what it would have been like, i thought a lot about it and i am better now i dont think i am going to bring it up because youre right melissa it wasn't something i was supposed to see he was just venting to his friend and I need to respect that privicy. he has every right to wonder, he hasnt done anything that would prove that he wants to leave, And he has been acting better the last day or so which might be my fault because i was acting so mopey and mad that day he might have thought something was up and he wanted to make it better which reinforced that knowlage i already had taht he does love me, i just have to remember it is okay to wonder, I suppose i might some day but as long as it doesnt produce anything i shoudnt worry.
          0
            06/27/14
            I'm glad you took a moment to talk to someone that you could trust Tera. We of course try our best to be there for our fellow mamas but nobody knows what struggles each of us face.

            Your response shows that of great maturity. And your dad is so right. There will be times that you'll question things too, and that's okay! I'm living my dream life right now.. and there are still times on a Wednesday night that I so miss going to Karaoke with my girlfriends from work, calling in "sick" on Thursday and sleeping the day away. It's normal. I wish you all the best and thank you for keeping us posted!
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            About Tera
            Current: Kalispell, Montana
            Birth: March 23
            On Moms.com since: Mar 7, 2014
            My husband and I have two children, I am currently a stay at home mom during the day, working mom at night, and college student in between.