I just got a call from the surrogacy place I applied for so that they can sit down and talk to me. I didn't actually get the call but they left me a voicemail to call them back so we can talk. I am a little nervous to call back. A part of me really wants to do this and a part of me is a little scared and nervous still. Should be simple right? I've just popped out 3 kids in the last three years. So not even close to the same. I have never had to worry about conceiving or taking care of someone else's baby for 9 months and then just handing them over. I couldn't imagine if I had to just hand over one of my babies and not see them again. Even though I know it isn't my child in any way I think it will still be hard but at the same time I really would love to be that person that makes the ultimate sacrifice so that a couple in need can finally have what I have.. A family.. Even though my kids drive me crazy sometimes I don't always stop to think of how lucky we are that we even have them with us here in the first place. After I had my miscarriage I was so paranoid that I wouldn't be able to carry a baby full term and that is no where near close to how someone feels knowing that they can't have a baby at all. It was a terrible feeling so I can't even imagine receiving that news. And honestly the compensation could really give us a jump start on our lives as a family together. Maybe I should sleep on it and give them a call tomorrow once I have thought about it a little more.
P.S. Mom - Since I know you stalk my life on here and steal pictures of my little ones for your own use.. Lol. Please no lectures. Its my decision at the end of the day.
P.P.S If she reads that I will get a phone call like a half a second later and probably be in trouble. Lol

amandaMorrisville, Pennsylvania
    Wow.. I think this is the most awesome gift you could give to someone Amanda. I couldn't do it myself. I tried for years to have a baby with no luck then out of the blue came Charlie. So I know I couldn't let go.

    I think that if you even have the teensiest weensiest bit of doubt, you should hold off. Perhaps try to find some other moms who have made this decision and ask how they put their doubts to rest. I can't imagine the strain if you decided to change your mind at the end. And for the other family too.. that would be such devastation.

    I definitely think you should sleep on it.. don't make any decisions that you feel forced into. Good luck on your decision, keep us posted!
      Melissa Middleton
      Wow, hun, you have an amazingly big heart. I think I may be able to do it for a sister because then I would see the child still. Wow. It's a big decision but a selfless one. I applaud you. :)
        Thank you guys. The other thing I am wondering is that I know when you put your baby up for adoption you can opt for an open adoption which is where you will have the option to still be involved in the child's life to an extent so you can still watch them grow up and be a part of their lives even though you couldn't take care of or provide for them yourself. So I am wondering if they can find a couple to match me with who is open to me still being involved in some way shape or form. I think that would ease my unsettled feeling a bit. Like even receiving pictures here and there and maybe being invited to birthdays. If you think about it I would be a big part of that child's life even though they aren't my child. So I don't think it would be an unreasonable request to be involved here and there for my own piece of mind.
          This is huge. I'm with you on feeling conflicted. I also have the same perspective as those women on here: wonderful gift, selfless, could be difficult in the end. When my 1st husband and I found out that he was infertile, it broke my heart thinking that I would never have one of his babies. He approached his brother and cousin to see if they would be willing donors, and they declined. It's a big bag of mixed emotions. It took me 14 years before I could get pregnant a 2nd time as the 1st ended as a miscarriage. I'm still a bit paranoid about my ability to nurture this child through delivery.

          Any momma to be would be so appreciative of any kind of help available to her. I think your thought about some kind of open adoption/open relationship with the child and his/her family is totally justified. I'm curious to know what you decide. Do keep us posted. Lots of hugs and positive thoughts your way!
          About amanda
          Born: Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
          Current: Morrisville, Pennsylvania
          Birth: June 06
          On since: May 3, 2014
          I am a stay at home mom of three. I also recently just started a blog called surviving mommyhood. If you get time check it out.