Our Evening Ritual - It's on.

I am really having a hard time with my boys. They do not listen to me, at all. I have taken three parenting classes, tried any ideas that come my way and nothing seems to work. They constantly fight (which I know is going to happen) but the fighting with me needs to stop. I have tried time out, taking things away from them, grounding, anything and everything you can think of. Nothing seems to work. For instance, last night I told my boys that once they got out of the pool and came in the house that they were not allowed back in the pool. They came in, each got in the warm bath and we had company so I was visiting with my friend. I walk outside and my boys are both in the pool. So I told them they needed to come inside because they were told not to get in again. My 5 year old came in and started playing with my friends kids but my 6 year old ran from me. I went back in the house, assuming he had came in the front door. I started talking again and I heard splashing. I walked out the back door and he was in the pool again. I said ok Ricky, you are done, I am going to have to stop you from getting in the pool for a few days since you are choosing not to listen. He ran in the house, slammed the doors all the way in and then started screaming and crying. I went outside and listened for him and he cried for about 5 more minutes and realized that I had went outside. He came outside and said he was sorry and we hugged. I walked towards the front of the house and my friends heard him call me a devil! She was really upset, I hadn't heard it and went and told him that was not o.k and he needed to apologize. He did but then he just ran away from me again. I am exhausted! This is a regular occurence (not the devil part) but with my 6 year old getting so angry that nothing calms him down. All 3 of my boys are in counseling (their counselors come to the house and work with them) but the counselors have the boys individually so they are not seeing this behavior. I almost feel like they don't believe me. I just don't know what to do anymore. I actually told my boys that I was going to call that Super Nanny woman and have her move in with us! hahaha. Anyway, I know this is super long but if anyone can help, I am all ears. I am willing to try anything. (Bribing has also been a tactic I have used but always backfires) I am trying really hard to talk to them after they hit each other and explain to them that no one likes getting hit, or toys taken away, or whatever it is and that they need to treat other people how they want to be treated and we do not have a single issue when they are at daycare. They do not fight with any of the other children, or each other, but when it's home it's gloves off and war time around our house every evening.

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Sherice HardieMount Vernon, Washington
07/02/14
Sherice Hardie
Since the boys do great individually, the counselors all chose the same diagnosis. I'll have to ask again. Basically they chose anger issues (drawing a blank on the name) Thankfully even though they haven't seen the boys at their "best" they are taking my word for it and are still helping them. They just had a 3 month review and I begged them to continue working with the boys. I have told them all that I wish they could see them when they are not around. I'm going to have to start recording them. I think it would help tremendously.
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    07/02/14
    Sherice Hardie
    To briefly respond to one, we are on our own. Have been for just over a year for the first time since having my two youngest. My boys dad's are not in the picture (there are 2, didn't dream of this while growing up, totally wanted to do it right) they are not nice men. Hurt me, my oldest and youngest. The two youngest boys Dad is the one who hurt 3 of us. My middle son was his first and he didn't get hit ever but was yelled at and called names but he only remembers that his dad hurt me and yelled a lot. So, we moved to another state, started over and I knew we were all going to need some help to try and deal with things that happened. I'm not innocent either, I take full responsibility for staying as long as I did. I never should have put my hearts in a situation like that. Things are better than they have ever been but also worse in some aspects. And the counselors are trying to work out a time when they can all come at the same time. So it's just us. Sorry, I ramble, a lot!
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      07/03/14
      Sherice Hardie
      Thank you for that Melissa. I just feel like I am failing miserably! My 14 year old is really a good little man. He just doesn't like to help, not around the house, not outside the house and not with his brothers. He does, on occasion but he fights right along with them. I get super frustrated with that. He was only 2 1/2 pounds when he was born so he is 14 but the size of an average 8 year old. I think because of that he thinks that he can wrestle with them. That is a major thing that he and his counselor are working on. I want my boys to be hard working, honest, gentlemen who respect women. That is the main reason that I left. I didn't want them thinking that is how relationships go and that it's o.k. to treat your significant other like we were treating each other. So.... that's that. lol
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      About Sherice Hardie
      Current: Mount Vernon, Washington
      Birth: October 08
      On Moms.com since: Mar 1, 2014
      I am a single mother of 3, awesomely amazing boys. They are my heart and soul. They are almost 16, 8 and almost 7. They are the reason I get out of bed every day and try to be the best person I can be. I am far from where I want to be, but trying.
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