How do you know when you're done having babies
Most of my friends are stopping at 2 kids, ideally one of each or when they get their one of each. I would like to have 3 biological kids total, one of each and the third I don't have any preferences.
For those moms who've decided they're done with their baby making days, how did you arrive at that choice/conclusion? Is there an inventory of questions you ask yourself?
One of the gals in my group that I had dinner with said she was done having kids. She gave her daughter's crib away and is now starting to give away other baby furniture.
Erik saids he is done having babies and has been talking about getting snipped. I am not done. How did you ladies negotiate with your SO when one was done and one wasn't? Before we got serious I already told him my desire to have 3 biological kids total. I would think he should honor that.
Now I am divorced and yes it's just my two kids. I still don't regret it though. Financially this was a good idea. I struggle with two kids, but it is do-able.
For now, I will be content with using contraception after baby is born until Erik and I figure things out. If I were to get the maternal itch, I'm hoping it won't be sooner than 6 months after delivery. I would like to give my body a break and have a serious heart to heart with Erik about kids and contraception. I just don't want to be in a relationship where I'm resentful that he got snipped and it being a 1 sided decision. That would cause a lot of issues and may end up being the deal breaker in our relationship.
You can also tell him vasectomies are not 100% effective. There are lots of stories of people who are surprise pregnant after a vasectomy. (the guy was declared to be 'shooting blanks,' the girl got pregnant, and then after another test the guy is still declared to be 'shooting blanks' and no the girl did not cheat.) A vasectomy also takes time to become an effective birth control method, usually after 3 months it can be reliable, but that isn't always the case. As you can see I've been doing a lot of reading about vasectomies and other similar topics. I also have read about older men having a harder time getting a woman pregnant because his sperm quality and quantity decrease with age. I don't know how old you SO is but that is also something to think about. Yes pregnancy is possible with an elderly man but the reality of that happening is slim. Lots of medications affect a man's ability to get an erection and his desire to 'have fun'. Also for some unknown reason to me a man's ability to produce quality sperm does decrease. I assume this is due to environmental factors and the different elements he is exposed to over the years of his life causing mutations in his DNA (which is why people get cancer, strange growths, and need medication for different illnesses.)
I wish you luck in your conversation. I hope you have a beautiful and healthy child. I pray that your SO can understand how you feel.
Erik currently uses a lot of prescription medications due to back/hip and sciatica problems. Kind of a miracle that he is still able to produce kids after so much medical intervention.
As for compromise, I'm definitely going on some kind of contraception to show him that I respect our mutual disagreement. Thank you for the info and advice!