Modern Day Parenting.. Are we in CRISIS?
Mamas.. this is a great article and perhaps pot stirrer! :)
This British Nanny chats about FIVE things that give light at showing that modern day parenting is in crisis and we need to step it up! Honestly.. the 5 examples she gives.. I see them 24/7.. and often, even before I had Monroe, I shook my head at most of them.. For instance, #1.. Fear of our children... this probably urks me the most.. when I see parents frightened of doing something for fear of how their kiddo will react.. it makes me think.. who's the parent here? What's going on? I think that one clocked me in the brain the most... these are things I want to be better at!
What about you Mamas.. which one do you see happening? Do you agree with this article?
Do I agree with some of her points? Yes. Do I think it is doomsday, lol? NO. Crappy parenting has always been around, parenting has just become a more social topic instead of private.
#2 struck a chord with me this weekend. One of the room mates tried to call me out about how I was responding to Erik's son. He took the approach of "So, how many teenage boys do you know?....Teenage boys are just like that...." I told him I know plenty of teenage boys both family and my friend's sons & none of their parents allow them to get away with back talk or rudeness."
#3 I've asked the kids' mom if it's okay with me speaking up when I see that her kids are being less than positive or misbehaving. The mom gave me permission to even at her presence. She said she wholeheartedly believes in "It takes a village to raise a child."
#5 Erik always caters to the kids. They're 11 & 13, and they still don't know how to pack clothes for themselves on their weekend visits to see us, and they claim not to know how to work the stove to make themselves a meal. Erik has gotten better AFTER I've talked with him about them needing to at the very least fold their own laundry and put it away, wash their own dishes and utensils, and being able to say "no" to some of their requests and being okay with it.
If I could I would get rid of all plastic toys and keep it to a minimum of wooden and rag dolls and dress up or "dress-up" toys. I'm about to have a yard sale, it's so tempting on doing a "clean house."
#4 - We have some electronics, but the games my children play are either doodle (eliminate the marker or pen marks at the dr. office) or educational. We just signed up for SkWids - My daughter is now very interested in History. For over a year and especially this past year while I have been extremely sick on and off. My daughter has been hanging out more with her grandma. If she even squints up her face, she gets exactly what she wants. I'm having to break it back out of her. Lots of cries. Lots of sanity being lost. I do however know that when she gets older - she won't be relying on me for every single thing.
I learned #5 - putting child needs before own the hard way after my daughter. I was sent to the hospital and diagnosed with Crohn's disease. I was not taking care of my needs and my body, I was putting all my focus on my husband and daughter. Taking care of you the mommy does not make you selfish.