Middle school bullies
Last week Ember was old enough to spend grand kids week with her older cousins at her grandparents house (my inlaws). Two of which are in middle school and were talking about not having any friends. I told them to get a journal and write out some of their goals - how they would like to see their future. Even if it's as small as getting a certain car or going to a certain college. For me it was and always may be teaching art. My closet in middle school was a mini classroom short of a filing cabinet. They were saying they hated summer because they couldn't see the few friends they did have. I finally showed them an old middle school photo of me. It was taken short after my great grandma died. I had no friends. To be honest I was close to sucide my fifth grade year because even the teachers picked on me and did not stand up to the bullies or stop them. In a way I'm glad they didn't stand up for me. I needed to learn on my own. I also needed to learn in a harsh way to find my true self. Not the perfect girl my mom and grandmother wanted me to be. I even had teachers tell me that if I were a teacher no one would listen to me. In some ways the idea of looking perfect to get people to listen worked. I look younger than I did in high school. I never wore a LOT of makeup, but I wore if differently. After moving (three seperate high schools) I learned to take control of new situations. Or at least I thought I did. Even now after children, I find no one takes me seriously unless I doll up and take myself seriously. So as I showed the older cousins my older photo I tried to explain the friends they have now may or may not be with them in te future. They will always have themselves and their family. It's better to learn to appreciate those things before trying to impress fake friends.
My children are too young for the drama of bullies... As a mom, How do you address bullies?
If/when Avery encounters mean girls I'll probably just help her to see all of the great things about herself that they don't see. I'll remind her that this is a very short time in her life and their tauntings are even shorter. If she believes in herself it's easier to ignore the haters.