Stay or go

How can 2 ppl, in their own way, both feel disrespected, let down by the other, each feel there's no compromise, can't make the other person happy- my husband feels it's his job to make the $, mine to take care of his 3 kids, our one together, he doesn't deal with the lil stuff, costs us large amounts of money by just not taking care of his shit!! It's driving me crazy. I hate HIS house, it's not ours and never will be. Doesn't have the balls to stand up to his ex wife. He gets nothing. Has no empathy. I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired. I know it's because I'm depressed that my immune system is crap and my thyroid is wreaking havoc. He tells me I'm the one with the issues. I know I have them but I go c a therapist and take anxiety medicine. Idk how to be happy anymore and this is bs. My son doesn't deserve this. I'll be damned if he grows up on eggshells like I did with my dad. My husband is not abusive in any sort of way, he's just a narcassitic Neanderthal. 3 yrs and nothings changed. My picket fence is rotting in the woods, my knight in shining armor turned into shrek and I'm turning into the wicked witch of the west bcuz I can't handle the no routine, structure, constant chaos. I'm guilt ridden for losing it earlier with my whining, teething 15mo, who just kept calling for his dad when it's ME that has him every minute of everyday. My chest hurts all the time. I've been raising my step kids for the past few yrs and I'm tired off it. The laziness, back talking, fighting and bickering constantly. What bothers me most is I'm going to completely lose it one day and it's going to be bad, very bad now that they're becoming teens.

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    It's not like I'm 18 or in my 20s anymore and haul ass to the next job. I used to work industrial construction. I waited a long time to find the "right" guy, gave up 7 yrs at $80k a yr job so I could have my baby, and I'm starting to feel like I gave it up for nothing. I have no family near by, they're 1400 miles away, I don't want to go back to my home, when I go visit, 9 days there is long enough. I just feel like I have no "home". No center. I've done a lot of makeover work to his house to make it feel homey, but most of my possessions are sitting in a storage unit bcuz him and his kids respect nothing, think everything is replaceable, does not comprehend sentimental value, so they sit there in boxes bcuz I don't want things from my heritage and family, destroyed.
      8Theresa Gould
      It does sounds like you need to have a talk with your husband about everything.

      Did you know boys do switch their allegiance when they are about your son's age? Don't take it personally but be thankful that his is connecting to his daddy. Boys look up to their dads, that's just the way it is with boys.
      About Jessie
      Born: Saint Francisville, Louisiana
      Current: Zachary, Louisiana
      Birth: June 26
      On since: Feb 2, 2014
      Married w/ 3 step kids that I raise. I thought being a stay-at-home mom would be great, but I'm going crazy.
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