Multiple Kids' Birthdays in the Summer

Erik and I had a bit of a disagreement when we were discussing how we're going to proceed with all the kids' birthday parties after this summer. We were hoping baby would come this month for superficial reasons like spreading out kids' bdays. Erik's son's birthday is 2 days before baby's due date and Erik's daughter's birthday is just after Labor Day when school starts. In the past because money is tight, Erik always did joint parties and had them in mid to late August.

Now that baby is most likely coming on her due date 8/7 (I've given up all hope that she's coming any earlier), and this is my first child, I want to have a big blow out for her 1st birthday complete with a whole roasted pig which is customary in my culture for big occassions. My idea of a big blow out is spending $200 for food & $20 on decorations. *Before the divorce, the kids got separate big blow out birthday parties because both erik and then wife were working and making good money. They spent $500 easily per kid.

I just want baby girl to experience all her firsts wtihout the complication of "what about the half siblings". I know my extended family will expect to be invited to atleast the first 3 years of baby's birthday parties, and that's fine as that's the norm in my family. I have offered to Erik to do a joint birthday party with my side of the family for baby Eire and his son as their birthdays will be so close to each other. He was offended by that offer which caught me off guard. He said that his kids are not part of "that family" so why would his son's birthday be included? Yet, he doesn't want his kids to be invited to Baby Eire's birthday party with my side of the family for fear of them comparing their birthday celebrations with hers. So I don't get it...

Moms, how do you celebrate your kids' birthdays when their birthdays are so close to each other? What is your idea of a reasonable dollar amount to spend on birthday parties when including extended family?

Any feedback is appreciated....Thank you!

    I don't really have any advice, but I really hope it works out well... Keep us updated. And I feel like $100 is more than enough, even for a blowout, but my family is kinda small.
    About MaryJane
    Birth: March 25
    On since: Apr 18, 2014
    Pregnant back to back. I have a baby girl and another on the way. I'm also a pseudo-step mom to 2 tweens.