Can i ask u a serious ? about child support

I have ? for all the moms out there.. Okay i am going through the divorce with my x husband who hit me in front of my children.. I didn't have any money to pay a layer but now he is wanting to file child support on me.. I hate the agreement we have with our kids its killing me.. i have them a week and he gets them a week.. but when they were in school in may he let them go to bed on a school night at 12.. and was late half of the time.. I am worried about doing this because i dont wanna lose my kids.. I only have a one bedroom apartment and they sleep on the couch at night.. so i am just concerned should i go ahead and file child support or what do u think i should do my girlfriend says i should file but i need more options before i do this please help if ur in this situation or been here in my shoes thanks..

00
    08/03/14
    5Tabitha
    You need to get your lawyer involved and get records from the school about how often they were late. Get a child representative involved, your lawyer will know where to find them.
    0
      08/03/14
      You can always try and get a legal aid attorney as well. Or refile to change your custody arrangement. If he filed for child support then contest it and file for yourself. If you share custody equally I think it is harder to get child support although it does happen.
      1
        08/03/14
        well i am wanting them for full time he always goes out and drops them off at his mothers every day and every weekend he finds somone to take care of them.. its like he ponds them off its pisses me off.. so i wanna fight but he has alot of money i mean alot so he could still win.. what should i do am just really scared
        0
          08/03/14
          I agree with the other ladies... Get a lawyer or legal aid of some sort so you don't have to do this alone. They'll be able to help you. You're doing the right thing, I think, just make sure you have someone there to back you up. Not fair for him to take the kids and make them late and not even spend time with him. Obviously not okay that he hit you. A lawyer should definitely be able to do something considering those things.
          0
            08/03/14
            i dont have proof that he hit me.. I dont know what he has on me.. so i am not sure i feel like if i do this he will come and try and hit me he knows where i live i am scared of him if i do this.. but i dont wanna lose my kids and i dont wanna have to be away from them all the time i feel they need there mom my daughter always crys when she leaves so do i but its so hard.. never been in this position before.. So i know he has money my girlfriend tells me i wont lose them but i i dont know and dont trust him how do i find legal aid is there a website?
            0
            08/03/14
            If you go into a dhs office it call them they should be able to tell you. Or call the courthouse. A lot of times the courthouse will have an office for the family law and they will be able to point you in the right direction. At the very least they can help you fill out paperwork.
            0
              08/03/14
              I agree with the other ladies, but that being said, even with a lawyer/legal aide there is only so much they can do. If you take him to court for an adjustment to custody, you have to make sure that the courts can have confidence in your ability to care for the children. I know it's scary but something that happened in my parents custody battle is that they made sure that every child had somewhere to sleep, they did an inspection of both homes. They also considered income and which parent would be more likely to maintain a stable environment. If you're confident in that, then I would say absolutely go forth and fight for custody, but if you need time to make sure the judge will completely see your stability for the kids - it's a good idea to take that time.

              I know that might sound harsh, but usually in custody battles once they make a final serious ruling - it is VERY hard to prove it to be overturned. You have some good things going for you (for example, you have proof of his lack of parenting skills, he's clearly violent. 50/50 custody, etc.) but that's the reality of the situation.

              Good Luck!
              1
                08/03/14
                Thank you Kimberley,, yea okay i am gonna try but my kids do have a bed i just couldnt afford he kept the 5 bedroom house.. hesa wanting me to sign the papers soon and i do i ll be signing away the house.. i am not sure what to do.. i love my kids and this is the time to prove it. but am not trying to take them away i just want him to have them for a weekend thats it.. not full time. thanks everyone for all ur advice u gave me alot to think about thank u,,
                0
                08/03/14
                5Tabitha
                Get a lawyer!!! Do not sign those papers without a lawyer! My ex with a lot of money screwed me out of a lot things, including custody. You have rights to, DO NOT let him bully you anymore!!!
                1
                08/03/14
                There are legal aide attorneys that work on a sliding scale. Most attorneys will also do a free consultation and so you can meet and get an idea of your options and what you need to do.
                1
                08/04/14
                5Tabitha
                I agree with, Kimberley. Start making calls and start looking for a job. If your ex is protraying you as no good, if you aren't at least making an effort for a job, the judge will see you as that. And if it ends in you being an unfit mother-that will stick with you the rest of your life especially if you have any more kids and need state help. (speaking from experience here.)
                0
                  08/03/14
                  Most state dept of social services have lawyers that will do pro bono work for free.... Just try to find one sooner rather than later! Don't sign any document without legal aid. I don't know what you do for work, but many corporate companies offer a legal aid program. It helped me when figuring out my drama before Harper was born. Good luck. Most courts tend to side with the mother unless the mother is a known drug dealer or crackhead.... And another thing.... Did I read your ex hit you in front of the kids? If so, please think about their well being because although I did not have a horrible childhood, before my parents got divorced I witnessed a fight between them where my dad hit the wall and broke his hand and I remember it like it was yesterday. I'm a huge advocate for children's therapy.... Even therapy in general.
                  0
                    08/03/14
                    Jennifer yea he was trying to take my phone one night and he had me pinned down on the sink in the bathroom and my son was there to witness it and he was crying and he kept telling him to leave go away yea he had a couple months where he wasnt eating and talking but now he is okay what should i do i have no job or money help anybody
                    0
                      08/03/14
                      Most public school systems have a school counseling program. I would look into that as soon as you can. It helps tremendously and shouldn't cost a thing. And my other advice is to look into what the state can offer you. There are so many free services that social services have that something is bound to work in your favor. Please for you and your kids sake get away from him. I'm so sorry you are going through this. Just remember, God only gives us what we can handle... And it may not be easy, but will eventually work it's way out!
                      1
                        08/03/14
                        Jennifer no i moved out right after he did that am leaving in one bedroom that i got by myself and i am pround of myself for doing it but i dont know what goes on when he has them my daughter emails me telling me her dad left her at his moms. i just am so hurt and i wanna get help before i sign these papers i dont trust him.
                        0
                        08/04/14
                        Document everything!!!!! My ex was a jerk to me, so anything that your daughter sends you, make sure you keep. Also write down every time he has said anything or done anything to hurt you either physically or emotionally. A judge will see all of that. I suffer from anxiety and depression and my ex subpoenaed my mental health records when we went to court to try to prove I was an unfit mother. He had no reason to do that at all. It's all control for them. I will try to message you later and fill you on on everything I had to go through.
                        1
                        08/04/14
                        5Tabitha
                        Yep! You need everything documented and in writing. Some judges will take you by your word, but it would be really easy for your ex to turn into a 'he said, she said' battle.
                        1
                        08/04/14
                        Jennifer oh my goddness you went through alot am so sorry.. Yea i went over there today to pick up my kids and he was trying to grab me and wanted me to have sex with him hes such a jerk.. And i gotta be smart the first post u had hear after i read it i cryed u really got to me.. i feel bad am really trying hard to get a job.. Cause i know i need to take care of this i get unemployment but sometime its tough my daughter went to the salon with her dad last week and i told her not to cut her hair and ill do it when it s time and he asked her if she wants to cut and she said mommy cant afford it and he went ahead and cut then said to me cause i was furious that y did u do that i told u not too he said he felt bad for me so he went ahead and cut her hair off i was hurt really hurt.. So i felt like crap so i just dont wanna feel like that anymore.. I want a job that i love and that i can pay for things for my kids.. THanks Everyone here for helping me its just really hard me and my kids have a bond that some people dont have with there kiids.. Am very close to them. thank u
                        0
                          08/06/14
                          How are you holding up???? Have you looked into any resources? I'm so sorry about your situation. I wish I were closer to help you out. Although I am not a lawyer, I did sooooooo much research during and after my pregnancy. I hope all is well
                          0
                            08/07/14
                            not good but i am trying to find some legal aid i hope i can find someone to help me i have keept them for almost 3 weeks and he is staring to tell me its my week its like he doesnt want them its making me upset i just got a job i am very exitced ill be working with kids after school so that will look good to the courts so please help if u know of anything else i can do thank you..
                            0
                              08/07/14
                              Gosh I wish I were there to help you out! Where is you family? Or do you have a friend that could watch the kids? Call the dept of social services tomorrow about legal aid.
                              0
                                08/22/14
                                yea I don't have a family anymore they disowened me I don't talk to anybody in my family am alone how do I get the number where to look??
                                0
                                08/22/14
                                Where are you in tx???? I will do some research for you and see what I find.
                                0
                                09/13/14
                                Are you doing okay???? I can still try to help you if you need it but my computer crashed and it is going back to dell for 2 wks. Ugh. I'm here for you!
                                0
                                  09/14/14
                                  Not.so.great.signed the.divorce.papers.feeling hurt still.need help plz.need a friend
                                  0
                                    09/14/14
                                    I'm hear for you. You need to look into the court to having them appoint a guardian ad litum, which is a court appointed lawyer who will fight on behalf of the child if the two of you can't get along. I'm thinking about taking Jeff back to court after the bs he pulled this wknd. I have to talk to my lawyer tomorrow. Let me get my laptop back and I will do more research for you.
                                    1
                                      09/14/14
                                      Oh u okay what he do? If you dont mind me asking.. Idk how to do that. I am divorced gave him.the house am just feed up but want my kids full time.. Thank u
                                      0
                                        10/05/14
                                        So I have had crazy drama with my ex lately too. Almost to the point of taking him back to court. I just got my computer back.... I'm going to look up to see what I can find in TX to help you!
                                        0
                                        10/14/14
                                        I just tried messaging you but it's not working. See if you can message me.
                                        1
                                          12/04/14
                                          Melissa Middleton
                                          The kids are a witness to him hitting you. Are they old enough to talk and tell about it? You can get legal aid, and a child advocate may be called for the children's benefit and they can tell her/him the things their father has done. If they are late to school on his account, that will fall on him and make him look bad.
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                                          About Heather Clemons
                                          Born: Plano, Texas
                                          Current: Plano, Texas
                                          Birth: January 03
                                          On Moms.com since: May 18, 2014
                                          trying to have a baby with my girlfrind please help i have two beautiful kids with my x,