Postpartum depression or tired?

I also hHasSo, I'm kind of ashamed to admit this, but i have been having some scary thoughts about hurting my sweet new baby boy. I brought this up on another site, and got nothing but ridicule. So, anyway, I'm not sure if I have PPD or if I'm just tired. I can't get any sleep at night because my baby probably has reflux and has colic. I work graveyards about 3 days a week, and stay up with the baby the next day while my BF works.

I don't know if I'm tired or depressed. When he's up late at night crying and I've done everything I think of hitting my sweet handsome man, so I'll set him down and walk away, then get upset at myself because I know his crying is waking up my BF, who works 40+ hour weeks, starting from 3-4 in the morning.

I'm afraid to go on Zoloft (I'm breastfeeding) because if I'm not depressed, won't it make me depressed?

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Megan GibbsMountain Home, Idaho
    08/05/14
    Wouldn't hurt to give it a try, sweetie.
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      08/05/14
      5Tabitha
      You need to talk to your OB about this one, hun. I know there's some safe meds while breastfeeding. On the natural side, ashagawanda root and B12 are mood boosters and I know they don't mess with millk supply.
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        08/05/14
        Melissa Middleton
        Walking away for a moment is far better because you do need a moment to recollect yourself. I would definitely talk to your OB about a safe relaxer/anti-depressant to use. It sounds as though you are stressed out and tired, which lack of sleep can cause stress as well.
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          08/05/14
          Ever Lopez
          I went thru the same thing with my 1st child, and yes is not a good feeling but is normal at times but 1st thing 1st like the other ladies here said go to your OB explain get info. On the situation if you think that is correct then you go head and take safe meds. For your child and your safety.... In my case I did spoke to the doc. And he said to change things in my house 1st like where the baby slept, his formula, and other things that might help on his sleep or comfort, I worked for the police dept. Out in Nyc. So it was a lot on my plate my husband worked evenings, so changes need to be made in my case.. thank god I did changes I got help and for my 2nd child it was a complete ball game!!! I wish you best of luck!!!
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            08/05/14
            Definitely talk to someone, they may be able to help. I understand you wariness with anti-depressants... They've often left me worse off than if I'd never taken them. There are alternatives though. Is St. John's Wort safe for breastfeeding? Or Lemon Balm capsules? Ask your OB, maybe.
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              12/27/14
              Bethany Reilly
              Theres many natural vitamins you can take as well! You aren't alone:) we are all here formyou
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                01/10/15
                I'd there someone that can help you at night so you can sleep...it sounds your over worked and stressed out...I think your boyfriend must understand that you have a baby and that its normal for him to cry he should at least try to help you when he gets home....Its not easy but it can be done....and if you feel like you just can't take it anymore get help fast from a local counselor , friends or family members or go to the wic office they have support groups for struggling mothers...wish u luck and be safe
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                  01/11/15
                  Melissa Middleton
                  How are you feeling now, Megan?
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                    01/21/15
                    Megan Gibbs
                    Well, I did talk to my doctor and he told be basically the same things. He said I could try some medication if I felt I really needed it, but he doesn't like to give it to someone unless they really feel they need it. I felt like I could do without it. I guess I just needed to hear that it is normal, and I needed to hear that it's okay to take a step back once in a while.

                    You think after three kids I'd know all that, right? I guess each baby feels like the first child, they're all so different.

                    So, I did it without medication. I'm fine, baby's growing like a weed. Since we got breastfeeding down, it's all good!
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                      01/21/15
                      5Tabitha
                      Glad you are doing better. :)
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                        01/22/15
                        Bethany Reilly
                        Sooooo happy to hear! You definitely aren't alone! Never forget that:)
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                        About Megan Gibbs
                        Current: Mountain Home, Idaho
                        Birth: June 13
                        On Moms.com since: Apr 16, 2014
                        Finally got a job. Jack in the Box. Not much, but it's something. I'm divorced but in a new, better relationship and he's my new son's father. I'm very happy to have him in my life (my ex is a free loader, currently living out of his car).