ECHO RESULTS HERE IT IS ITS LONG AND HURTFUL :(

i don't think i have ever heard any disturbing news as i did today during my echo check up after one doc came in and said too just keep excising and eating healthy everything that i have been doing things will be good then she said one of the top cardiology doctors where coming in too speak too me so i waited and waited these next words he said too me will continue too haunt me through this pregnancy this is what he said " i have too tell you that your heart looks good and seems like it has recovered fine but i believe this heart failure you had might happen again in this pregnancy i don't have a crystal ball but this is my opinion and i would tell you that you should have waited too have kids after you incident and maybe you should think about not having this baby also that i think you should sit down with your family and discuss what you should do about the baby because if you choose too have it you may end up in the same situation and not make it out this time i believe you should talk too your husband and family and get your things in order for JUST IN CASE and see what they want too do" NOW i don't know about you ladies what i got from that was sooo you know my heart is good now but you think my heart will become ill like it did before even though it was only like that because of the infection from around the baby and on top of that you are telling me that i should abort my baby while i still have time because if i don't i might just very well be signing my death sentence WHAT?!!!! i mean it was just like that no emotion nothing i was like wow so you want me too tell my husband and my family that you think my heart wont be able too survive my labor so ask them what do they think should i abort the baby now or should i wait too see if i DIE what kind of sick stuff is this at first i thought my heart did stop for a second he was so calm telling me this after what has happened too my precious daughter mariah and i came too terms that i did not do anything wrong too now him telling me that if i don't abort my baby that very well could be my rainbow baby that i could die and this time it will be my fault and he just took away all the hope all my prays everything i had going for me too bring me too a bad place i didn't want too be in LORD KNOWS i don't know what too think cause like i told him in the office i said aborting my baby is not an option so he looked at me crazy i guess thinking now you would risk your like for a 9 week old fetus yes i would especially if i know there is a light at the end of that tunnel and i am not giving up if things get bad i will make a decision if i need too but why if things are going ok and my heart if perfect right now i haven't told my husband yet because i know when he hears it all he will think is omg he said this baby will kill you that's all he will hear i know i have too tell him i would never want too keep anything from him i just don't want my family thinking i don't cherish my life cause i do and i cherish my baby too and as long is everything is fine why mess it up LADIES I AM REALLY IN A DUMP RIGHT NOW you can not imagine this news today is too much i wasn't prepared for it :(

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kandiUtica, New York
    08/06/14
    8Theresa Gould
    I cannot imagine receiving news like this. I am praying for you as you tell your husband and family. Hugs.
    1
      08/06/14
      Comment deleted
      08/06/14
      kandi
      Thank you it really means a lot right now
      2
        08/07/14
        Oh wow. I'll be praying for you, Kandi.
        1
          08/07/14
          8Theresa Gould
          How are you today, kandi?
          0
          08/08/14
          kandi
          I was ok today I am going too see my psychiatrist today after everything that happened with my last pregnancy they have me see one once a month too make sure I am dealing ok and I am but it's nice too have some one too talk too about things face too face without judgment and just spending time with my kids ;)
          2
          08/08/14
          8Theresa Gould
          I'm glad your psychiatrist helps, that's good you have him/her to talk too. Just know I'm thinking of you and praying for you.
          2
            08/08/14
            wow im so sorry I had no idea this is my second post here omg wow I can't believe it u look so young to have these issues .... u should get a second opinion from another doctor.....its a tough situation ur in but u have to make the best decision for urself and ur family......talk to ur preacher for advice and speak to ur husband calmly and then inform ur family.....if u can talk to ur parents first they will give u advice ......lots of love and hugz ....
            1
            About kandi
            Current: Utica, New York
            Birth: June 15
            On Moms.com since: Jul 17, 2014
            i am a sub teacher going for my teacher license and then finishing up my nursing license LOVE all my kids and my wonderful husband :)