Sadly this post isn't about adorable little ones. It's about a very real issue among mothers. Depression. Now, I've lived with depression my whole adult and most of my teen years. I've been through everything from meds to therapy and nothing seems to work. I had my son, Caleb, and for a few weeks everything was as great as a new born can be. Then my symptoms came back and I started to withdrawl from my son and even the rest of my family. Now My problem is I don't know how to get back to what I had. Or how to help my symptoms.
I've also struggled with depression for many years and no prescribed medicine seems to help. But, I've never had a child in the mix too, and I'm sure that makes this all the more important to you.
I can only share things that seem to help me. I forego prescriptions anymoe because they only made me worse, with the exception of anxiety medicine.
St. John's Wort
Valerian Root a few times a day
LITHIUM OROTATE (or aspartate)
You can get all these from the health food store. The lithium especially is extremely helpful once it builds up in your system. There is some proof that it may help mood disorders and depression online too.
Something else that helps that's not medicine, which may sound strange... Lucid dreaming. It's just like being asleep but knowing you're dreaming so you can control your dreams and do whatever you want. This sense of control and having a "vacation" at night is super helpful for me when I can stay aware enough to do it regularly. It can really put your mind at ease, give you a sense of control, and a break... almost every day.
Let me know if you're interested in more info on that, I've got some pretty good tips so you don't have to go hunting--there's a lot of info online.
And also.. CBT or cognitive behavioral therapy, which you can do without a therapist.
As for lucid dreaming, try keeping a dream journal for two reasons-
1. Writing out your dreams first thing in the morning can help motivate you for the day, work through things, and shake off the fog. You'll also feel more confident and accomplished if you've built the habit.
2. It heightens your dream recall. Just like your brain doesn't remember every license plate you pass, it has to think it needs to remember something... Writing about them gives your brain that signal, even if you write "I don't remember what I dreamed last night."
What I suggest is getting the app for your phone called Awoken (fee in the Google Play store) not only will it help you lucid dream, it has other benefits. You can set it to give you reminders throughout the day where you check if you're dreaming (so you remember to check in your dreams too.
You can use these reminders to ground you and remember to stay in the moment as well, which will heighten your happiness over time.
To check if you're dreaming, one quick and easy way is to check the time, look away, and check again. If you're not... well you know what happens. If you are, normally hours have passed since you glanced or it turns into letters or smething equally ridiculous.
Also.. Morning pages. Three pages of longhand, scriibbled in a stream-of-consciousness way first thing in the morning can help a LOT. It sounds annoying, but it'll start to get really fast... And it can help work through SO many problems and leaving you feeling productive and ready to face the day.
Sorry, I know I'm practically writing a book to you right now. Depression is just something I feel very strongly about.
That's one place that also talks about morning pages, though she's not the actual creator. I think it's about $10 for Kindle, but most libraries have a copy too.