I got mad today
I lost my temper with Avery today. It really wasn't that bad, but it was the first time I've really been angry wit h Avery in her short life. Sure, I've been frustrated before, Maybe irritated. But I hadn't been angry yet, that I can think of anyway. If I have she was certainly too young to really get that I was mad at HER.
Here's the story. Avery has been into climbing lately. Which really means she's been into scaring me half to death, falling, and Boo-Boos lately. I get falling is a part of growing, and I know she's testing her limits so I've been trying to let her climb as much as is safe. I figure she'll get it out of her system and I'll watch close so there aren't any serious injuries, right?
Well, I was making lunch when it happened. It's wasn't a complicated lunch but I was getting frustrated because it fell like every two seconds I had to stop on pull Avery off of something. I said no, I redirected, I put on her favorite cartoon. Anything to give me 10 minutes to make lunch. I was going as fast as I could when I hear a clang and a splash. Avery is half standing on her potty chair clinging to the couch with my coffee (which I made hours before and completely forgot about) spilled all over. All over her, the couch, the carpet, and the end table.
I lost it. I yelled out "AVERY, NO! I TOLD YOU NO MORE CLIMBING! DAMNIT I JUST NEEDED 5 MINUTES TO MAKE LUNCH!" I ripped her off the couch and took her outside where I literally hosed her off. She could definitely tell I was mad. I didn't want to yell anymore so I just stared cold-faced while I sprayed her down. I was MAD. I threw her in her high chair while I cleaned up and finished lunch. Oh, did she whine! I almost lost it again but I just tried to focus. I sat down with our food and shot her a glare. She immediately went quiet when she saw my face. Mommy wasn't playing anymore.
We ate in perfect silence. She ate all of her food without a peep. It's best behaved she's been all week. When she was done I wiped her off like normal, which she hates, but even then she didn't fuss. She knew she was in trouble.
I don't like getting mad. I feel terrible afterwards no matter who I'm mad at, but I think this was a blessing in disguise. I think Avery is learning that when I'm serious she has to listen. Mom is the boss.
Can you remember the first time you really got mad at your kid(s)?