10 year old daughter drama!
I think i am officially ready to loose my mind. My 10 year old daughter almost 11 in a few weeks is in a very weird stage. She has always been her own person and has had her own style. I have always recognized it and told her to be herself. well...she has gotten into the "emo" stage. Everything is black and these bands she wants to listen to our not my favorite. I dont even know where she heard these things from. I have banned her from listening but she some how finds a way (school). She is very mean and difiant against me. She calls me and her dad by our names..alyssa and jose and when i say umm no im your mom she just rolls her eyes and says thats weird. (we are her biological parents lol) she is obsessed with this group blood on the dance floor and the guys in the group. She only wants to shop in hot topic and everything has to be black! She is consistantly writing on her self in black marker and also on her clothes and shoes that we buy. All she wants to do is sit in her room all day and not do fun things with us. She also has been lying alot too. I am very worried about her. She literally has no one who wants to play with her or come over and i know it hurts her, but i wouldnt want to either if i knew she just wanted to be alone all the time and lied. She is only 10 1/2 and is super super boy crazy(which i guess is normal) but the other issues just make it bigger. Does anyone out there have these issues with their child? I really feel like im dealing with a 15 year old rather than an 10 year old. We have sought out counseling but she says all she will do is sit there and wont talk. I feel like i have lost a child. I dont know what to do. I am worried this behaviour will not be good and will end up causing her trouble.
Everything piece of clothing I had that I drew on, I lost. I could only pick my clothes if I had a job to pay for them-and I had to have proof of where I got the money (even if it was a note from a neighbor that I did so much work for so much money..and mom would call the person to verify). The music I listened to, mom had to be able to understand and like the words or it get burned (like, thrown in the bonfire pile burned). I wasn't allowed any contact with friends outside of school. If I was caught singing a song my mom deemed inappropriate, I got a bar of soap in my mouth. If I disrespected my mom or dad (calling them by their names or sassing), I got a bar of soap in my mouth. I wasn't allowed to go anywhere without a parent. Dad sealed my windows. and put alarms on the glass so if I tried to take the panes out an alarm would go off.
I straightened out in about six months..
Here's the thing, she is still your daughter underneath all of the hormones, sass and black clothing. Instead of disliking it so much have you tried asking her about the bands she likes or about the clothing she likes? I was NOT a fan of the clothing either and my daughter's closet looked like Hot Topic threw up inside of it. BUT I wasn't about to let that get in the way of our relationship. So yes, I bought her Tripp pants and let her dye her hair blue. And now she's wearing dresses again, but she does still like the crazy hair colors, haha. There could be worse things though, ya know?
I do not see too much wrong with going through the emo stage, as long as there is no bad attitude or bad behavior resulting from it. Nearly 11 seems a little young but, of course, I have an 11 year old who acts like a fifteen year old. She seems boy crazy as well, which is new to me because boys were just my friends at that age.
I agree with Theresa Gould, a ten to eleven year old should not be boy crazy. Do you think her friends are becoming a bad influence on her?
thanks everyone for your opinions and advice!