Everyone is Right....Except You

I know many people in my hubby's family and on my side, believe they know everything there is to know about raising a child and everyone else's opinion, including mine, is wrong. I hear all too often, "Well, I did that with mine" or "Well, mine did this or liked that." Yet, they fail to realize that every child is different and everyone parents different. And, if I don't do it their way at their house, I have to here about it. And then they wonder why I rarely go over there with my son anymore. It's mainly because they take over and, even though I am the mother, my opinion and the way I raise him does not matter and is wrong. Sigh.
Sometimes, I just want to scream. So, I want all you expecting mothers to know, you do not have to take everyone's advice . Parent the way you feel is best and the way you want to parent. No one is an expert, even though they may say or act otherwise. As long as the child is not endangered or neglected, be the mother you want to be, not what everyone else thinks you should be. ;)

00
Melissa MiddletonPennington Gap, Virginia
    09/06/14
    Comment deleted
    09/06/14
    Melissa Middleton
    Maybe he is not interested in it like my son. Jonah show zero interest in crawling. He'd rather stand or walk with support. I believe they both will do so when they feel like it.
    1
    09/06/14
    Comment deleted
    09/06/14
    Melissa Middleton
    My son is chubby as well, and I know his little pooch of a belly gets in the way. Plus, he is a tall baby. He is 28 inches long. People think he is 11-12 months old. Lol
    Jonah is starting to scoot. I think that they probably have a more difficult time holding their weight with their arms because they are a bit bigger than the average 8-10 month old. Plus, I read somewhere baby boys develop later than baby girls.
    0
    09/06/14
    Comment deleted
    09/06/14
    Melissa Middleton
    Yes, it's easy to fall into that competition. But, like you, I just said he will take the next step when he feels ready and on his terms because he does not like being forced to. His PT has him do that but, lately, I have just been letting him on his own and he rolled over over a month ago on his own without help once I stopped trying to force it. And now he can sit up, too, for more than 5 minutes.

    It won't be long and they will be walking. Sheesh it goes by too fast.
    0
      09/06/14
      Comment deleted
      09/06/14
      Melissa Middleton
      My son was at my SIL's house and he fell asleep. They put him on his stomach and told me that was how their kids slept. I have read that infants should be placed on the back when sleeping, and they thought I was ridiculous because I was uncomfortable with him sleeping on his stomach. Call me a worry-wart, I suppose. And then the tried to give him regular milk (he is on infant soy). I told them not to and they did it anyway. Jonah can now use his gums and teeth to smash and chew food so I give him minced potatoes or thickly mashed bananas, and I was told, "Well, I NEVER did that to MY kids." And when I told her he will have a bottle of formula before bed and not to feed him the entire banana, she ignored me and did as she pleased. Not only that, I do not give him too much because it plugs him up.
      And she said, "Why don't you give him regular milk now? I put my son on it when he was ten months." She has also shoved me aside when I have tried to change him and put an outfit on him. I am thinking, "Excuse you? This is MY child. I gave birth to him. I carried him, not you."
      And when I do not take their advice and use my own judgement in parenting, they have actually told my husband on me--as if I am his child. My husband told me to just yes them to death and ignore them--that's how he deals with them. His sister insists she knows more than his doctors, too. And then because he cries when he is at their house, they insist he is spoiled and held all the time. Babies cry; it's part of who they are and what they do. And when he kicks his legs he is excited but they insist he is not and he is throwing a fit. They behave as though I do not know my own son at all, and I am with him 24/7. Their youngest is eighteen and the daughter is older than I am. It's enough to drive someone crazy. I just take a deep breath and conjure up an excuse to go home. And then they wonder why I rarely come over. I know they love my son, but they have had their chance with their children and now it is my turn with mine.

      And, of course, my hubby wants me to remain quiet and not say anything to them. So, I just take a deep breath and go one about my business.
      0
        09/06/14
        Comment deleted
        09/06/14
        Melissa Middleton
        Haha! Oh, yes, that will go over well. I need to gain some backbone.
        0
        09/06/14
        Melissa Middleton
        And, yep, he pretty much has his BIL on a pedestal.
        0
          09/06/14
          Comment deleted
          09/06/14
          Melissa Middleton
          Actually, I used to have a backbone...it vanished over the last two years. And, you do have a point. I do speak up when they are doing something or allowing something to/for him because his well-being is far more important than their "feelings."
          0
          About Melissa Middleton
          Current: Pennington Gap, Virginia
          Birth: April 13
          On Moms.com since: Mar 21, 2014
          Mother of an active son, a precious baby girl, & a diva step-daughter (who lives with us). I am an artist, baker, organic gardener, frugal liver, & a Christian--happily married to my best-friend. Blogger at www.chasingwildhorses.com