When guys find out I'm a virgin

I haven't read the whole article yet, I just watched a quick clip about it. It interests me because I waited until I was married to have sex. I found the statistics listed in this clip kind of sad: https://screen.yahoo.com/videos-for-you/minn-nati…

http://www.salon.com/2014/10/06/when_guys_find_ou…)

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8Theresa GouldChicago, Illinois
    10/10/14
    That's an interesting article, thank you.
    1
      10/10/14
      I feel really bad for her, considering the results of her dating opportunities. But you know (and I hate to say this) it may be the kind of guys she is attracting and it having nothing to do with other people. She even admits that if things had gotten to a certain point she would have had sex with at least one of the guys, it just never got there.

      So I think this is less about her virginity issues and more about who she is dating.
      2
      10/13/14
      8Theresa Gould
      You make a very good point. This is what concerns me about our daughters dating or finding guys...finding them in the right places with the right belief system to respect them enough to honor them. I never had any issues, thankfully, but like you said, it was about the guys I was interested in and visa versa.
      0
        10/10/14
        I was a 33 year old virgin when I met my husband. He respected my "waiting until marriage" ways. Before that though....it was rough out there. Here's my thing. If you don't tell them up front that sex is off the table then they are going to try. And if they try after you tell them then they don't respect you. But if you LET them try...you don't respect yourself or your own values so how are they ever going to. It sounds to me like she is using her virginity as a prize and not viewing it as something that is a gift for her future spouse. Her mindset is all wrong. Yeah guys leave almost as soon as you tell them they are not getting any, but that right one will stay. But when you play cat and mouse with them it sends all the wrong messages. If you want to remain a cirgin until marriage then you can't go through all the motions of sex and think you are ok. Going through the motions of sex with someone but stopping short of actually having sex honestly in my mind does not make you a virgin, just someone who has sex with their clothes on.
        2
        10/10/14
        Lol not truth some girls like to hear...but truth! Haha one of the many reasons the girls in my youth group loved and hated me when I was a youth pastor!
        1
        10/10/14
        Exactly! I think those reasons are why people who court instead of date are usually so strict in their rules for each other. When that attraction is there, once the touching starts, it's hard to stop it.
        0
        10/10/14
        I have never been a fan of courting, although for younger people I think that it is great. It's a great way to keep them accountable for their actions. But for us older people it isn't that easy. But as adults we should be able to behave ourselves and be responsible. You can't say that you are not going to have sex and then tell them with your actions that you are willing.
        1
          10/12/14
          sex is a very normal healthy part of any relationship. waiting until the state or government gets involved (ie marriage) is DUMB. sex is the ultimate discovery of whether two people are right for each other. why would anyone wait, then find out, they arent compatible, and go through all the legal trouble to get a divorce when they find out they arent compatible???
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          10/13/14
          8Theresa Gould
          Swap, my husband is the only man I have ever been with, ever kissed, ever held hands with and we have been married for over 20 years. We are highly compatible attraction wise, still after 20 years so I beg to differ with your point of view.
          1
          10/13/14
          If someone gets divorced because the sex ended up being bad, then they were never ready to get married in the first place. Being right for each other has nothing to do with sex. Yes, sex is a very important part of a healthy relationship, but that healthy relationship also needs to be built on so much more than that. Even sexually compatible people have terrible relationships when that is all they have in common. If waiting is stupid then I for one am very thankful to be among the stupid people :-)
          0
          10/14/14
          I echo Theresa and Amy. But I do wish I was among the stupid people and waited. My first husband only wanted sex out of me. If I had waited to get to know him, I would NEVER had married him. My second husband cherishes me for who I am, that is what makes a lasting relationship.
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          About Theresa Gould
          Current: Chicago, Illinois
          Birth: August 10
          On Moms.com since: Aug 5, 2013
          ***Baby Team Leader Moms.com*** I have been married for over 20 years. My husband and I have eight children ages 18 down to 4 years old. We use to live in Chicago but now live in Canada. I own www.FaithandFamilyReviews.com.