.. Last year hubby and his brother weren't talking... so we didn't have holidays to deal with.. This year they are talking and I'm a little worried that family holidays will resume.
I hate getting together as a family because there's always fights...always have been.. Last year was the first round of stress free holidays I remember having in my life-because we stayed home. And while hubby agrees, I know he misses his brother-the only place they talk is Facebook (they live on the other side of town). But the wife and I... I can only handle criticism for so long before I either leave, or speak up. She's 15 years older than I am and treats me like I know nothing. I know her kids want to see our kids.. I know the guys want to see each other.. But even the guys can't get together without her interfering. Heck, her hubby can't talk to his own mom for 10 minutes without her getting in the middle. I'm just getting a little worried that it will be pushed for since they are talking to each other again and I just can't do it. His neices told me that I'm not their aunt... their reasoning.. I don't buy them things like hubby's ex wife did.
It used to be Thanksgiving at their house (the one time that happened, I tried to help and everything I did was redone including the forks being two centimeters off on the napkins-so I gave up). Christmas at MIL's... She wanted me to help, but I could only be in her little kitchen if SIL wasn't there looking over my shoulder. Then New Year's at ours.. Well, that happened once since I moved in.
See.. my view on holidays as a family is that it's time with family, not time for the kids o be put in front of a TV or ipad or whatever for 10 hours. I find it rude when they only show up for food. Yes, I agree they should have something available for when they get bored, but that doesn't have to be something loud so nobody can talk. New Year's, she expected me to have activities for her teenagers..I showed them my bookshelf (OH THE HORROR).. She got into cookies I had made for Dennis' work snacks and had the kids' decorate them, he wouldn't touch them after that meaning I had to go spend more money. I refused to do dishes while everybody was there (OH THE HORROR).. My thought was the family was only going to be there for so long, so what's the big deal? Let the dishes sit until tomorrow. I HID all of Andrew's toys.. Andrew was just a baby then, I left his stuffed animals downstairs and put the toys upstairs, then wouldn't let the kids go upstairs unless they needed a bathroom and somebody was in the downstairs. Her precious little boy (who breaks everything) didn't have a thing to play with-despite his backpack full of toys. And to put a topper on the cake, the teenage boys got drunk. Yeah... The liqour cabinet was left unlocked (because I figured that SIL would lock it back, silly me) the boys got into the whiskey and drank enough to have a major hangover the next day... So the next year, we said that fiasco wasn't going to happen again.
So yeah.. I'm just dreading that despite hubby knowing and agreeing we shouldn't get together... we will just so he can see his brother. Which I won't get in the way of, but I already told him I might leave with the kids before he's done so I don't go off on her if that happens.