I dont know what to feel

I am a single mom. I didn't want to be, but I am. I didn't expect my ex to leave me when I got pregnant. I didn't think he would say he isn't the father, and accuse me of being unfaithful. I didn't want this!!! I live with my parents, I work a crappy part time job with barely any hours, I am trying to enroll in school. I say I am ok, but I am not. I am tired, I am angry, I am hurt, I cry all the time, I want to scream. I love my son to death. but part of me feels like my whole heart cant love my son, there is a part of me that is missing that I cant give my son. I am scared to death that my son will be taken from me, just like my family, my ex. I feel like ive been punished for my mistakes, and everything and everyone I love gets taken from me. I am so confused, and I work so hard for my son, but I keep getting knocked down. I feel like I am never enough for my son. I never regret having him, I regret the person I had him with. But regardless I love my son , and I am and will always work as hard as I can to give him what he needs, give him all the love I have left till my last breath. I just am lost.... I have no friends, I lost them because I had a baby. I don't know what to feel anymore.

About Alyssa
Current: Ormond Beach, Florida
Birth: March 29
On Moms.com since: Feb 28, 2014
I am a Single mom to a beautiful baby boy who was born on July 23rd 2014. He is my whole world, my reason for still being alive. He is my heart.