You know what really grinds my gears?
When my husband doesn't listen. Now I know that I tune him out sometimes too, but what upsets me is different. I can understand having to repeat myself if I'm talking over a screaming toddler or his favorite show is on or he's reading an article on his phone. He's distracted and it takes a bit for him to switch to listening mode. I get that. SO when I have something important to say or even just something I want to have a real meaningful conversation about I try to get his attention first. Here's how tonight went.
Me: Hey hon, I just read this really interesting article. It's about homeschooling but it kind of applies to my views about work ethic in general. It's really cool.
DH: Huh? yeah. cool.
Me: Can I talk to you about it? I'd like to see what you think.
DH: *silent while staring at phone*
DH: Hold on, I'm reading something. Just a second.
Me: Ok. *waits in silence until he finishes a minute or so later*
DH: Ok, what?
Me: So I read this article about a womzn who was denied child support because the government would only pay for her children until they graduated highschool. She chose to homeschool her daughter and her registered as a senior in highschool with the state. Only Virginia doesn't recognize homeschool so when the daughter turned 18 they cut off support, even though she was still in highschool. The woman called to dispute the decision and the employee said "everyone knows that homeschool kids don't work as hard as regular kids." The author said that everything was eventually cleared up for the woman and her daughter but the rest of the article was about how backwards the employees statement was.
DH: *stares at me in silence*
Me: .... sooo what do you think about that statement?
DH: *huh, um i don't know*
Me: You weren't listening, were you.
DH: No, i was. I just missed that last part. About the statement. Sorry I zoned out.
Me: Okaaayy... what part DID you hear? I don't want to repeat EVERYTHING.
DH: well um that woman was homeschooling and she was outraged.
Me: ... -_- .... that's not what I said. So basically you didn't listen at all. I asked nicely and waited until you were done but you just ignored me anyway.
DH: No. I didn't ignore you. I was listening.
Me: You obviously weren't listening or you would have known what I said.
DH: Noooo. I didn't mean to ignore you.
Me: But you still did!
DH: Ugh. Whatever just say it again.
Me: No! you obviously don't care about it. Just go back to whatever you were doing.
DH: Whatever! you don't have to end our night like this.
Me: I DIDN'T end our night like this. You're the one who decided not to listen! and then won't even apologize!
DH: Fine, I'm SORRY!
Me: Yeah, like that counts. You seem REAL sorry... -_-
So yeah. That was how my night ended. I know it's a stupid fight but we do this dance ALL the time. I spend all day with a toddler and after she goes to bed I like to have some adult conversation. I get he has his stuff he wants to do too, but is it too much to ask to talk to each other for a bit?