Overbearing in-laws

I live with my future in-laws, and this is their first grandchild. And since I've had him I've encountered a boundary issue with them. My son has his screaming fits like every other child does and after I get him all calmed down and he is just finally falling asleep, my father in-law loves to come and grab him out of my hands. And that wakes him up and gets him all upset and screaming again. My other problem is when its around his bedtime he also gets really upset and starts crying again. And my mother in-law has a tendency to grab him out of my hands and try to put him to sleep herself. I've never been able to experience the calm my screaming kid down and put him to bed dilemma. I understand that this is their first grandchild but this is also my first child. And its only going to get worse when my fiancé finally gets home cause he is really close to his parents. I want this to be just my fiancé and I raising him, not my fiancé and I and his parents raising him. I get so frustrated and I don't know how to approach them to talk about it. I could really use some outside advice on how to handle this. Thank you so much​

05
Moms Expertise
    12/03/13
    8Theresa Gould
    That's tough. I lived with my mil for our first year of marriage (totally do not recommend it) so we could save money. It's hard to establish boundaries unless you communicate with your in-laws. I think you should either talk to your fiance first so he can talk to his parents on your behalf or in the least help you know how to approach them about this. He is your son and if you do not establish boundaries now it will only be harder down the road. Hugs! Hope it gets better for you and not worse and I hope you and your fiance can find a place of your own as soon as you are able to, as that will help a lot.
    3
      12/03/13
      Hi Tanee! I live right next door to my in-laws, so i kind of understand what you are going through. It is VERY important that you talk to your fiance' about this issue at hand, and hope that he understands and is willing to talk to them for you. I always go to my husband when I have an issue w/his parents because he knows how to deal with them. We have that agreement. If i have a problem with his parents he addresses it and vice versa. I really hope things work out for you because I know how annoying and stressful that can be. I hope I helped. God bless!!:-)
      4
        12/04/13
        Talk to them directly. You don't want it to seem as though you're avoiding it by going through your DF. Explain that as a new mom you would like this time to bond with your baby and find your own ways of putting him to sleep so when they aren't there to help all the time anymore, you can do it in your own with as little complications as possible. Let them know you appreciate the help but you are still learning and would like to try to do it on your own and please help when asked because they aren't always needed.
        2
          12/04/13
          This is tough but it sounds like maybe you need to try and talk to them and tell them that of course you appreciate their help and that they are so eager to help, however YOU are his mom and it's also your first child and you need the chance to learn and be his mom all by yourself sometimes. And maybe it would be better if they could ask you if you need help before swooping him out of your arms. Its great that they are such good grandparents but they need to not forget that YOU are his mom.
          1
          About Tanee Kelley
          Birth: November 17
          On Moms.com since: Oct 15, 2013
          My first son Connor was born Oct. 22nd, 2013. My husband is no longer deployed and finally got to meet his son on Dec. 22nd. We are now a happy family :)