ever feel like your doing everything right when eveyrthing wrong happens?

So, i waited to have my kids until i was out of college and ready. I am married and we are very able to support our children. But everything has been going wrong in my life! we dont drink or smoke, we go to Catholic Church, I am a good person! My husband has always wanted a son and we had a son and he passed away because i was to little to deliver him and he was born brain dead, and he passed away at 3, that was traumatic. so I can't even give my husband what he wants so badly! He loves our daughters more than anything but i feel like i gave him a son but I am so incapable and dumb i couldn't even do what a woman is supposed too! i couldn't even deliver my child! and i hate myself for that! and now my daughter has OCD and my youngest daughter has type 1 diabetes, and I can't do anything to stop it! it is so frustrating! I can't even have kids without something going wrong! I can't even have natural births because im to small down there and I would love that the most! and I feel like i can't do anything right! I just found out that this baby will have to be a C-section as well! I am so angry with myself!

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4Kate MachadoSanta Barbara, California
Moms Expertise
    12/04/13
    Your a good pperson dont be so hard onyourslef!
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      12/04/13
      8Theresa Gould
      I'm sorry things don't seem to be going well right now, especially this late in your pregnancy. I think what you are angry about most are things completely out of your control. You cannot blame yourself for anything you mentioned because it's not your fault. God made you the way He made you and He made your children the way your they are made. I'm sorry to hear about the struggles your daughters are having, but it's just an adjustment period for all of you. I think once you find your new normal amidst it all you will adapt and things will look brighter.

      Remember your husband is the one to determine the sex of your children, not you. He doesn't blame you does he?

      Hugs.
      1
      12/05/13
      4Kate Machado
      thank you, no he does not blame me he is very supportive right now but i do blame myself. and i need to chill out for a bit
      1
        12/04/13
        It is NOT your fault. Don't blame yourself for everything, hon, it's only gonna make it harder on you and your family. Maybe God is trying to teach you to roll with the punches, to be flexible, and to focus on the positive so you can teach your babies that gratitude as well.

        At the same time, I know where you're coming from. I have blamed myself for a lot of crap and a lot has gone wrong. I would be happy just to be blessed with a child... It is hard not to blame ourselves for what goes wrong, but it's not healthy. Do you have any ways to cope or let go of bad feelings?
        1
        12/05/13
        4Kate Machado
        thank you so much i am trying to focus on the good things and helping my daughters but its hard seeing them suffer sometimes.
        1
          12/04/13
          I know what you're feeling right now, Kate! You know sometimes we think that we're doing right things, but God have a different plan for us. I have only one son and he is 10 years old, our second one was born and died 30 minutes later, I was so mad and sad that was ready to divorce my lovely husband. I always wanted to have more kids, and you have 4 girls, and one more on the way, and it's amazing! we want our being without any problems, but it's not always possible. My advice is to entrust everything to God, and he will answer your prayers. You're a very good mom, you're doing all possible to support your family and love your husband and daughters. Stay positive, sister!
          1
          12/05/13
          4Kate Machado
          thank you so much!
          1
          12/05/13
          4Kate Machado
          thank you so much! this helped a lot really!
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            12/05/13
            Sabrina Abbott
            You did everything right. Falling short is part of being human. Just love, love, love the babies you're trusted with and the sun will shine on your heart again. I promise
            1
              12/05/13
              Oh Kate.. please don't be so hard on yourself.. what I am seeing is all of these things you are listing are basically out of your control. You carried your son and did as best you could.. nothing could have predicted what would happen.. as well as with your daughters.. you cannot control that one is slightly OCD and the other has type 1 D.. And above all, giving your husband a son.. completely out of your control.. in times when you feel slammed or beaten down.. look around and let go and let God have his plan unfold for your family.. praying for you.
              2
              12/05/13
              4Kate Machado
              thank you so much, it is just so hard having to give my baby "pricks" in the foot or her little fingers and giving her insuline shots everyday and thats one thing that no family should ever have to do, making my baby girl cry three times a day with shots makes me feel like a monster!
              1
                12/05/13
                8Theresa Gould
                I wonder if there's a way to make it easier for her, a game of some sort of something to look forward after wards so her crying is minimal? A mama's heart can only take so much too.
                2
                12/06/13
                4Kate Machado
                yeah she likes to play board games and on the ipad, but its just real hard.
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                12/06/13
                Sabrina Abbott
                Try to look at it like this Kate: If it wasn't this hardship, it be some other one. You can really start to count your blessings and even engage her in thinking about the good of her day, anyway... that way :-)
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                About Kate Machado
                Current: Santa Barbara, California
                Birth: February 07
                On Moms.com since: Nov 16, 2013
                Young happy family! i have four beautiful girls and one on the way!