I am so sorry I have been MIA...
The short story? My (ex) fiance broke off our engagement/broke up with me in the middle of November.
The long story? I'm STILL not quite sure what happened. I thought everything was fine, honestly. But according to him, he had been actively unhappy since July. He said 3 things to me in the course of our break up. 1.) He was increasingly frustrated with my multiple health issues/constantly being sick. 2.) it was exciting anymore, we lost our spontaneity. and 3.) If we had not had the miscarriage in May, we probably wouldn't be breaking up.
Let me preface this with: YES I'm aware I 'dodged a bullet' in not marrying him because he's kind of a douche. YES I know those are not real reasons people call off engagements, they're all excuses, but it hurts. And hearing that I'm "Better off" and etc. is not helpful.
1.) YES I HAVE MULTIPLE HEALTH ISSUES! 2 weeks in to us dating I ended up in the Emergency Room with belly pain, Something that still plagues me now and I'm finally able to get to the bottom of it. It's not fun for me either dude. Like HOW DARE YOU blame your unhappiness on my illness.
2.) It isn't about always having fireworks. I did my best every day to make him happy, but sometimes just not making him unhappy is all you can do.
3.) Wow! When he said this I completely lost it. It made all healing that had been done since that miscarriage just completely disappear. It felt like that moment when the doctor told me my baby was gone ALL OVER AGAIN. I don't think ANYTHING has ever hurt so much. That's basically like him saying "Because you had this miscarriage I can't love you anymore." which is every fear I've ever had, realized.
I've never felt so hurt in my life. So after that, my mom came and got me and moved me and my clothing (basically nothing else), and I moved back to Michigan from North Dakota. I feel like I've lost everything. It's been a hellish 2.5 months. Thanks for you patience ladies.