Just sharing few suggestions.
Before You Say “I Do.”
They have a saying, “look before you leap.” But when you are in love, you ignore all the warning signs that says no or fix this before you enter into a relationship, then into a marriage because then it will be too late to fix and fear and disappointment consumes you and you are afraid to speak up.
Always lay all your cards on the table and leave nothing hidden because it will reveal itself later whether you want it to or not. It is very awkward when you enter into a marriage with step-children, whether it is the male or the female it is difficult, I know from experience and I packed before it got too far. Sometimes you can’t control who you fall in love with but you should with your eyes open and a very attentive ears.
Especially on the female side, the baby mother or ex-wife sometimes influences the child or children against the person their ex is now with and that is very selfish because if the shoe was on the other foot, then you would expect to be treated with respect and be accepted by the child or children. Yes, it is understandable that the ex-husband or ex-wife was yours first but you have had your chance to make a good impression and you failed, get over it and move on, that’s what the other person is trying to do.
We all know that, to let go of the person you love is a very hard and painful process but at one point or another you have got to move on. As wives, we are afraid to tell our husbands that we are hurting because of their ex or the child of another relationship or even a relative of theirs because you don’t want to open a can of worms, well TOO LATE, we are married into it and the worms has got to go or taken care of by both persons. Mind you ladies, you are the one hurting and missing out on enjoying your husband, marriage and yourself so speak up and free that prisoner you have locked up inside because she is crying and begging for freedom so release her because it’s only you who can.
Then the responsibility of the husband or wife is to address the situation with the child whom/whomever child was brought into the marriage and make sure your partner and child/children does have a good relationship, Hey it is preventing you from being closer to or with each other and you don’t notice or realize it?
Wives and husbands pay closure attention to each other because at times we are being hurt by your relatives and we are afraid to speak up because of many different reasons including fear. Fear of where this will lead to but there are couples out there who are not connected the way they want to because of unresolved issues that are standing between them and their partners’ family/relatives. We marry you and expect to be treated with respect and be accepted but it doesn't work that way at times, just one person a part from God that can do or say something about the situation and that’s the person whose relative is posing the problem. The funniest thing is, they don’t disrespect or ill-treat you whenever their relative is around so you seem like you are trying to create a problem or lying on your in-laws but most of the time we are telling the truth and something needs to be done about these situations.
A warning ladies and gentlemen, make sure you can deal with having a stepchild or stepchildren before entering into a marriage. When you are not married it is easier to walk away, so for all of us peace of mind and sanity,
Look Before You LEAP!!!!
Suzette A.G. Richards
Penned December 27, 2014
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