Would you stay in relationship for your child?

Would you stay in relationship for your child?

03
    04/24/15
    I feel that you should stay in the relationship until your child is at least graduated from high school or age of 18. Reguardless of how we feel a child needs to have both parents equally in their lives. When you make a decision to have a child your world no longer is about you it's about your child's well being however with that said there is a few exceptions that I feel void that...if the other parent is a drug user, or a parent that doesn't want to be in the child's life or If the parent is abusive to you or child. Just my opinion.
    4
      04/24/15
      I agree with Kristi. A child needs both parents, but if one parent is a drug user, etc., then no. In that case, the parent is bad for the child.
      3
        04/24/15
        i stayed in my relationship after what i went through with my husband and i am happy we did because it all worked out and we are doing so much better now. I was a kid who parent was not together and it was tough.
        2
          04/24/15
          I believe that yes, a child deserves to have both parents in their life, but if one of the parents is physically abusive to the other parent, than that crosses the line for me. It is completely unacceptable to stay with someone who is abusing you physically even if there is a child involved! Would you really stay with someone if they hit you, push you, kick you, etc. for the sake of your child? What kind of example are you setting for your children? That it is ok to be with someone that hits you? What a lot of adults don't understand is that kids understand a lot more than we think they do. I also agree that it's whats best for thr child and in this case or if there is a cheating spouse is no way to raise a child either.
          2
          06/03/15
          Melissa Middleton
          I agree. The woman would be setting a bad example of what a healthy relationship is.
          0
          04/29/15
          hmmmm, broken home? if someone is hitting you and the child sees that, that would be considered a broken home as well. The child sees right in your eyes and knows something is going on. They can sense these things. This becomes harmful to them too. You think that they wouldn't notice and cause them mental damage because of it? Also, a man who hits a woman is a complete coward and most men who hit women would do that to their child as well, if the child tried to intervene and yet that is still means for being with the man? At that point, it is not a selfless act, you are putting both yourself and your child in danger.
          2
            04/25/15
            i would explore all options to making it work. unless the child or i were immediate danger then staying would be do more harm than leaving. i say weigh all options and if your partner is unwilling to fix things or even try to then i would go. my child deserves better. being a parent is a selfless act. you sacrifice for your child. and both parents commit to doing whats best for that child. sometimes what is best is sacrificing your home to make sure the child continues to live in a happy, safe home filled with love and concern for them.
            3
            04/29/15
            Yes you sacrafice for your child, I am in complete agreement with that, but to a certain point. If the other parent is physically violent and the child sees this going on, this is doing mental damage to the child as well. This no longer becomes a simple selfless act, but an act of survival. Even if the child is not around when it happens, kids can look into your eyes and see that something is wrong and they can sense it. A man that hits a woman would hit a child as well, especially if the child tried to intervene. This is what my point is, this would not be a safe and a stable relationship to be in for the child.
            1
              04/26/15
              Bethany Reilly
              I'd do everything I could to work it out. If it just wasn't working then I'd leave.
              3
              06/04/15
              Bethany Reilly
              Yes Ashley! But I'd take all measures to try to work it out :)
              0
                04/26/15
                Comment deleted
                04/29/15
                of course, I hope you dont mind me saying he was a coward! This is what I was trying to explain in my other posts to the other moms. Kids know much more than what we think. They do even if they are not around when it happens. You think your child wouldn't know when something's wrong? They are part of you, they came out of you and forever will be one with you. They don't even need to be in the house to sense something is wrong. Some people are in denial and say they stay for their kids, but its not just for the kids they stay because they still love their partners of course and pray that things will change and become a happy family. Unfortunately, for most of the cases it doesnt work out, but why would you stay or try to work it out and have your child go through all of that while you try to have it work out, for the envitable to happen of your child knowing the situation and in the end affecting them mentally where they think that is ok. We as parents try to do the best we can for our kids. I'm proud of you mommy and I'm so happy that you left and are doing better you and your son! I myself went through a verbally abusive relationship when I was 20 years old. I didnt have any kids, but I was so innocent and naive to think that he would change. I'm just lucky that I didnt have kids with my ex-husband. Stay strong!
                1
                  04/27/15
                  No. It's worse on the kid to stay in a home where there's constant fighting than to divorce. Been there.
                  4
                    04/28/15
                    wow what a question..okay.i think I would stay.
                    1
                    04/29/15
                    Im sorry about the financial situation. Being together through thick and thin will show you child how to be a fighter and to never give up on life just because of hard times. The love you have for one another will help you guys through all of it, If their is love, understanding, and patience. I have been in a situation of financial stress before as well and I know its very hard and I went through times when I didnt have any money in my pocket to eat, at that time I didnt have a child, but If I did I would have breastfeed and Im sure she would have been ok and my boyfriend (husband now) wasn't making much money since he is in sales and was just starting out and we made it through and here we arre 5 years later and we are doing well. Just have a little faith and patience and everything will turn out fine. Good luck mommy!
                    3
                      04/29/15
                      Bethany Reilly
                      I think each situation is unique. But I do believe that a lot of issues in marriage can be worked through. I've read stories of people even working through affairs. My husband and I have started counseling and it's helping a lot. I believe that most issues can be worked out.
                      3
                        04/29/15
                        4Amanda
                        I remember seeing something on TV during a talk show . The host was talking to a celebrity and they said something that's stuck with me , now I have to say the context of what the celebrity was talking about was about their moms personal health. I see it as a more border understanding. But he said "if my mom took care of herself as much as she cared for us and other people in The neighborhood she'd still be here today". So on that note. No I wouldn't stay relationship for my child(ren) . I understand that children need both parents. But if there one parent that isn't being emotionally and physically supportive to the other parent or child (ren ) then why but yourself and children through that mess .
                        3
                          05/03/15
                          Not if the relationship was horrible where he was hitting me nope i won't.. my mom likes t use this as an excuse for my dad hitting my mom all the time which is bs..
                          1
                            05/03/15
                            As a child from a broken home, I would never want my child to experience what I had to. It is tough, to be sure. HOWEVER, I think that if things are irreconcilable between the parents, it will affect the child in a negative way and it would be better in the long run for them to separate rather than the child having to witness how much the parents hate each other. I've actually had multiple people tell me that they wished their parents had just divorced like mine did. I do wish that my parents hadn't broken up, but I think that everything worked out for the best. My siblings and I are closer than ever, and we are all very close to our parents, even though they aren't close to each other anymore. Also, after a few years of separation, both parents remarried and we gained a whole lot more people who love and care for us now. My family is huge (with 4 parents and 10 children total) and very important to me. As for the child having both parents equally in their lives, if both parents are mature enough, that shouldn't be a problem as long as you both make an equal effort to be there for the child. Whether you are together or not, it is up to YOU to make a positive effect on your child, no matter what the circumstances are. My parents were both always there for my siblings and I to the best of their abilities, and I never took that for granted. The fact is sometimes you make decisions that don't work out for whatever reason, and suffering through it will only damage yourselves and those closest to you.
                            1
                              05/05/15
                              diane
                              Everyone on here has basically said the same thing: if there is a way to work the relationship out then yes by all means stay together as a family but if there isn't a way due to one parent not caring enough to try, abuse (verbal, physical and psychological/emotional), drugs of any kind, addition then no, the relationship isn't worth saving.

                              This topic is a very sensitive topic for everyone and even more so if you are in the position to have to consider separation. Separation is always very difficult but in the end everyone turns out to be much happier. My parents divorced and my mom's second husband and her divorced. I nannied a family with four children who ended up going through two divorces as well. No, it's not easy and at times life was very dark, gloomy, and down right just awful but eventually the sun came back out and everyone started to smile, laugh and relax and have fun again.

                              For those of you who have gone through a separation I'm sorry to hear it. I know how difficult it was for you. For those of you who have not gone through a separation I hope and pray you never have to. Also you don't know what you'll do until the situation actually arises and you are forced to make a decision.

                              I hope everyone has a blessed and happy day!
                              3
                                06/03/15
                                Melissa Middleton
                                I came from a broken home. My father was abusive. I am glad my mother did not stay with him because she deserves happiness, too. Sure, it was hard not having a father around but my mother was safer and we were happier for it. And on that note, children cannot save a marriage. If you are in the relationship for the child, solely, than you are in it for ALL the wrong reasons. A child can and will pick up on the negative energy and the "faking" of the relationship. If things can be worked out, fine, but not to the extent of an abusive relationship. If their is abuse in the relationship, you are only sending the message to your children that this form of a relationship is healthy, normal, and acceptable when it isn't. Also, you will be telling them that this is what "love" is.
                                1
                                  06/12/15
                                  Danielle Keltner
                                  Depends if there is abuse going on. If not, I would suggest going to a counselor before making the full decision to seperate/divorce.
                                  1
                                    06/21/15
                                    I wouldn't stay cuz I wouldn't want my child to resent me when they're older and moved out and then hear that their father and I divorced cuz I couldn't stand the relationship anymore. My uncle and his ex-wife were married 27 years and the minute my cousin turned 18 they divorced cuz my uncle had been seeing someone else for a long time cuz he knew his relationship with my cousin's mom was over and had been for a long time but he stayed with her cuz of my cousins. He didn't want them to be brought up in a divorced family like my sisters and I were. But I will say this I'm glad my parents called it quits the minute they knew they weren't in love anymore and couldn't stand what their relationship had become cuz to me keeping it hidden for 18 years and then bam saying oh yeah I loved your mom but when you turned 5 we weren't the same couple we once were and all love died but we stayed together cuz of you is worse than just being honest
                                    1
                                      06/24/15
                                      Yes, I would stay because a child needs the influence and support of both parents. My husband and I discussed the issue of how we would handle things if one of us wasn't happy in the relationship anymore when we first got married. We decided that if we couldn't work through our problems that I would stay at the house with the kids so that they would have the stability of living in the same place and he would get an apartment, but we would still both support and raise them together. I know that probably sounds weird, but we had both experienced bad relationships in the past and thought it better to be realistic in the idea that sometimes forever doesn't always work out to be forever.
                                      1
                                        06/28/15
                                        When I think of my own relationship with my daughter's Dad, there have been several occasions where I want very much to call it quits. I place a high value in that we have a kid together and another on the way. I continue to fight hard to stay in a loving relationship with him.

                                        On the other end, if one or both parents are miserable and want a loving/respectful partner, why not get a divorce? You only live once. Also, I would want to set a good model of what a loving relationship looks like, not one that breeds bitterness and resentment from having to stay for the sake of the kids.
                                        2
                                        About Elena Voznyuk
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