13 yr old step son makes daily life HELL....
Ok, here is my situation.
I have known my fiance since I was 14 years old. He and his ex wife split awhile ago and we have been together for 8 months now. His 13 year old son lives with us full time.
I moved from Boston to California to be with him. He was relocated here with the Army. His son is very rude, disrespectful, calls his father names and yells at him. Does NOTHING we ask. Such as pick up your dirty clothes & put them in the hamper & put your dishes in the sink. Not that hard.. right??!!
Yeah... You'd think so!
He fight's us DAILY. Argues daily. Again, I hear him making threats to his father. He don't really do much because it hurts him and he is so tired of it all. So, I tell him do NOT disrespect your father. Do not swear at him or me. You have to respect us and do what we ask. He just replies " I don't have to do anything". Yet, he don't go live with his mother! He is so use to having things a certain way.. doing whatever he wants because his mom didn't care and was out all the time and his dad works a lot.. Now he REFUSES to change. Makes our lives HELL.. daily.
Whenever we ATTEMPT to go out as a family like this weekend.. he ruins it by throwing fits over the smallest thing. Like today.. He says I'm thirsty. Holds up a small bottle of soda for $1.79. I said no way..you can buy a 2 liter bottle for that price. Get a fountain drink for 99 cents ((i pointed to the sign which has slurpee's on it as well right in front of us)) He ignores what I say and continues to whine and starts swearing in public.. Yes, did I mention he says the F word about 1,000 times a DAY!? mhm. So, fine, we just buy it because we don't want to hear it. But, Soon as we walk by the SLUSH machine aka fountain drinks on the way out of the store he starts complaining AGAIN!! Saying.. I didn't know they had slurpees.. I would've gotten one .. wah wah wah. I said oh really? I pointed at the sign that had pictures of the drink right in front of us. If you weren't being a spoiled brat you would've seen it. Then continues to call us both A-holes. Nice huh?
He verbally abuses us all the time. I am so at a loss. I have done everything for this kid for 8 months.. Cook everyday, clean, pick him up from school, drop him off with friends. I just am good to him.. I've been patient with him. I let him take his time to get use to things after I moved in but this is crazy. Nothing has changed since DAY 1!! 8 months later and we are still having the same issues with him.
I cannot believe it. I am so depressed and just worn down. We are both just worn down from him. I don't know what my fiance will do.. but, I hope he does something SOON. I love him but this is so awful to deal with on a daily basis.
It's so bad that he is so LOUD late at night not caring who's asleep with video games and music.. he kept waking my daughter up. She went back to Boston to live with my family for the Summer. :( REALLY upsets me. So, I said to her that I will work with him. But, it's not working. He still don't care about anyone but himself. He just tries to boss us around and I can't do anything but pray and hope this changes but man, it depresses me and I am so stressed out.
I told him maybe he should send him to a wilderness camp for young teens. It is for kids like him. Or Army boot camp.
Anyone else deal with an abusive, disrespectful step son?
Yes, Annie .. he just keeps letting it go because he is so tired and worn down. Making his son think .. Hey, I can do whatever I want! He is getting worse with verbal abuse.
Yes! I told him he needs to start taking away his video games and computer & guitar. ect.. Until he starts to respect us and do what we ask of him he shouldn't be allowed these luxuries.
I know some of my friends who have taken the TV and play systems out of the kids' room, taken the plugs away from the electronics, so they still have them-until the battery dies.
When I was a teenager, if my clothes weren't in the pile, they weren't washed. If they were left in common space, mom would wash them-then they'd disappear. She left instructions near the washing machine on how to wash clothes.
With the dishes I can remember one two or three day period where one of my brothers had refused to help do dishes... As much as it drove my mom crazy, he used THE SAME plate, fork and glass for the time period until he pulled his head out of his butt and at least started putting his dishes in the sink.
I know some of those sounds extreme. I also know it's a lot easier for me because it's my daughter and not my husband's and that's a whole other playing field. He's gotta know you and his dad are the bosses of the house. Hugs. Get a game plan together and stick to it, and make sure his dad is on board otherwise it won't work.
I thought he would get better but hasn't yet.