Some Things Should Not Be Said

I am on my second pregnancy (though this is my third child), and I am hearing negative feedback from in-laws, which is slowing irking me. Add to the hormones, I am becoming more annoyed by it than usual. However, some things should not be stated.

So far, I have heard: "Well, you had better stop there with that one. You both don't need anymore kids. "

This statement had nothing to do with our parenting style, it had to do with the fact that my oldest has Down Syndrome. FYI to people who think this way, each of our children are given the same amount of love, affection, and attention. Also, if we had another special needs child, it would be another gift from the Lord just like my other two.

The other one I am constantly receiving, aiming at me particularly, is: "'I' cannot imagine bringing another child into this world." OR "If it were ME, I would not be bringing another child into this world."

This person fails to realize, that comments like those should not be said to an expecting mother. With some people believing in abortion, saying that to someone considering it, would aide them in making that decision. I am against abortion, so no worries about me wanting to get rid of my child.

It is just the fact that these comments are being made and need to stop. Think before you say something to an expecting mother.

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Melissa MiddletonPennington Gap, Virginia
    09/18/15
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    09/19/15
    Melissa Middleton
    How totally rude! I hope you just ignore them, but that would irritate me, too. I could not lose all of my baby weight with my son, either, and was told something similar. With this one, I can barely eat and my OB nurse was getting upset with me. I told her, "I am trying but I am barely hungry and I still have morning sickness and nausea.

    And completely uncalled for on people asking if you're having twins. They need to keep those comments to themselves, too. That is something that should not be said, too.
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    09/19/15
    Melissa Middleton
    Thank you, Elena. They are acting like I am having my 20th kid or something.
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      09/19/15
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      09/20/15
      Melissa Middleton
      We're going to foster to adopt after this. When I tell people, many of them say how wonderful that is. Some say, "Well, it's better to have a biological child because then it is yours. An adopted kid isn't."

      My husband was adopted. Jaina is my step-daughter, but she lives with us and I take care of her full time. She sees her mom three weekends a month though.
      But, I call her mine because she is, and I love her as my own. And that when we adopt, that child will be ours and loved as our own. WhenI tell people that and they tend to not say anymore.
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        09/21/15
        :( ugh. People are mean. :(
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        09/21/15
        Melissa Middleton
        I know. It ends up being in-laws, sadly. Not all of the in-laws though. Some are thrilled we are having another and would be if we had 10 more. Lol Especially the Grandmas and Grandpas.
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        09/21/15
        LOL oh yes. :)
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        09/23/15
        Melissa Middleton
        Thank you very much. Jaina is my one with DS. I am glad we received custody of her, though it took many years. She has come a long way and it took a lot of time and patience working with her, something that was impossible to do since we only saw her on weekends before. But, she disproves many people's theory about Down Syndrome. She makes me proud; both of my children do. :)
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          09/28/15
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          09/28/15
          Melissa Middleton
          Wow! No offense to your parents, but that is totally rude. I am sorry they have to say negative things as well. My family actually if fine with it because we breed like rabbits on my mom's side. LOL She came from a big family and many of my aunts and uncles ended up having large families as well. I want five to six kids...maybe more, who knows. My hubby was adopted. His mother already had 11 biological children, the oldest was 20 when Steven went to live with them. She then adopted him and his three brothers that were in the system. And, yet, his adoptive family has to say things--but not all of them. Some are genuinely happy and want us to have more, mainly his older brother-in-law who calls himself, "Papaw," to my kids because he is old enough to be and does not get to see some of his grandbabies. He says my kids are his adopted grandkids. Lol

          My mom and my sisters are also happy as well. This will be my mom's 17th. She just loves having lots of grandkids like her parents did.

          It is very hard to ignore the negative comments of others. Honestly, it is none of their business how many kids we want. Have as many as you want, Annie!

          We plan to adopt as well and we get negative comments from that, too. We get a lot of, "You won't love them like your biological kids." This is totally false because Jaina is my step-daughter. She lives with us, and I take care of her. And let me tell you, I love that girl as much as I do my son. And, I have some nieces and nephews I helped raise for a few years that I love as my own, too. No one can tell you how to feel or how many kids you want in your family. It doesn't affect them anyway, so why the worries? I hope you have as many kids as you want. :)
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          About Melissa Middleton
          Current: Pennington Gap, Virginia
          Birth: April 13
          On Moms.com since: Mar 21, 2014
          Mother of an active son, a precious baby girl, & a diva step-daughter (who lives with us). I am an artist, baker, organic gardener, frugal liver, & a Christian--happily married to my best-friend. Blogger at www.chasingwildhorses.com