Please help

Hey moms. I know it's late but if anyone is up I need some help.
I can't calm down.
Matthew and I have been living with my parents trying to find a place and get jobs. I have a job. He hasn't gotten one yet and there's a few things holding him up.
My dad came back here tonight and said that if he doesn't get those things taken care of then he's not allowed back in the house until he does. He's up where we used to live trying to get things straightened out.
He then went on to tell me that I don't watch my children because my 2 year old got into some things (magazines on the coffee table and he took a stuffed bear out of their room.) I put a lock on the cabinet in the kitchen because he was going in there spraying Febreze and stuff. He then comes back and throws in my face that I don't watch my kids because they're into "everything". But isn't that normal for a toddler to get into stuff? He said "this is all my fault"
All of the stuff that's going on. But the things my husband is trying to get moved along is beyond our control.
I can't stop crying. A few weeks ago they told me that our marriage and our children are mistakes. I don't even ever want to tell them that I'm pregnant.
I'm so close to just leaving. I'd honestly rather live in a homeless shelter then be here with them.
I'm just so emotional right now.

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Bethany ReillyBedford, Virginia
    11/13/15
    Bethany Reilly
    And he said he's not letting him back in the house if he doesn't get the stuff taken care of and he comes back here
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      11/13/15
      I am sorry, that is rough! I would be honest with your parents. But unfortunately when you have to live with someone else then you have to deal with them...I've been there...it's tough! A homeless shelter is really no place to be though, not unless you honestly have to. Sometimes the best thing you can do is to stay silent and then just get out as soon as you're able to. Have you tried signing up for housing or anything like that?
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      11/13/15
      Bethany Reilly
      Yea I understand what you mean. I just feel that way in this moment. I know that isn't the place for us to be. I'm just hurting. I know what you mean.
      We have applied for housing before but you basically have to have no income what so ever to qualify. And we both do. Well he will as soon as he finds a job.
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      11/13/15
      I totally know the feeling...we had to stay with my parents for a while my husband looked for work and even though they are great it was still rough. I can imagine how hard it would be if they hadn't been so good. When I was pregnant with our son we were actually homeless for two months...like living in our car homeless. It was scary.
      Hopefully he gets a job soon. It is hard to have that many people under one roof. When we stayed with my parents I used blankets and furniture to section off the room we were in, we were all three in one room, and we had our sons area, our area and a little living room area all in a fairly tiny room. We mostly kept to ourselves as much as possible and that helped a lot.
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      11/13/15
      It is painful when it is your parents saying those things. I remember my husbands Mom trying to get him to leave me and live on his own for a year to make sure he really wanted to be with me...and this was after we were married and pregnant!
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      11/13/15
      Bethany Reilly
      Oh my. That's so terrible.
      Parents can be so mean sometimes. I just never want to treat my children that way. It's my life. Not theirs and we are doing our best to get out of here.
      My dad told me that were sitting on our butts doing nothing. But I have a job and Matthew is seriously looking for one. We aren't just sitting around living off of them.
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      11/13/15
      Bethany Reilly
      That sounds so rough. I hope I didn't offend you or anyone else. I am honestly sick to my stomach and I just can't stop crying. It's probably hormones too. Normally I wouldn't have gotten so upset. But on top of it my dad was yelling and woke up Malachi.
      I just cuddled him. Now I'm trying to lay down and hopefully go to sleep.
      Yea, I think keeping to ourselves is the best option. Thankfully we just sleep in the basement.
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      11/13/15
      I totally wasn't offended by anything. I think I would have been upset by my parents too...especially with waking the baby up! Hopefully you can all get some rest :-)
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      11/14/15
      Bethany Reilly
      Thank you Amy. You're so sweet as well as all the other mommies here❤️
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        11/14/15
        Melissa Middleton
        Wow! I am so sorry your father is being bitter. Has he forgotten what it's like when his children were little? My toddler gets into EVERYTHING!! It only takes a second for them to grab something. You are keeping him away from things that are dangerous, and that is what matters. My son goes into his step-sister's room and takes her stuff, gets into my magazines, my pots and pans, etc. It does not make us lousy parents. It's truly impossible for us to watch them 24/7--we do have to shower and use the bathroom, you know. Lol

        Aside from that, I am so sorry they are not being understanding. And, your marriage and children ARE NOT mistakes. How dare they say such a heinous comment. In this economy, it is difficult to find a job. Your husband is looking, which does not make him lazy or a failure--he is trying.

        Try your best to ignore them, hold your head up, and remember they are not right in what they say. They are going to miss out on so much of your life and your children's; it is going to be their loss. Big hugs to you, and I honestly hope things get better for your family. I will be praying for you all.
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        11/14/15
        Bethany Reilly
        Yes! I mean honestly he literally disappears and I chase after him and by the time I get there he's thrown the magazines on the floor. He got into desitin and my husband was feeding baby girl a bottle and after like 2 minutes of Malachi being quite he had literally painted the whole kitchen floor.
        According to my parents my brother and I never did that stuff. But that's what toddlers do!! And I'm not being a lazy parent by putting a lock on the cabinet but according to them I am because Malachi who just literally turned two should know better. But no! He doesn't. And I will lock up the cleaners and Febreze before he decides to eat it.
        Thank you! I truly appreciate the encouraging words. I don't believe any of this is a mistake. And Matthew finally has a job interview on next Wednesday. Praise God for that.
        They are helping us out and we are truly appreciative of that. But they feel since they're helping us they can say whatever they want to us about our family and reproductive choices. But those are our choices! And I believe God doesn't make mistakes. Our babies a blessings, not mistakes. I love my husband and my children with my whole being and I couldn't be more happy with them and the life God has blessed me with growing inside of me.
        Things have gotten a bit better. My mom knew we needed some girl clothes for Elianna so she went and got her some and gave them to her for an early Christmas present which really blessed us.
        My dad just doesn't get it.
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        11/14/15
        Melissa Middleton
        Seriously? A two year old doesn't know better, let alone a child a year older or two does not either. They are curious around that age. I am sure all toddlers have done it. All my nieces and nephews got into things. I have baby things on my cabinets and drawers to keep my son out of things, and we also have a lock at the top of our bathroom cleaners are. It's a better safe than sorry thing we do.
        I am glad your mother has come around and that Matthew has a job interview Wed.
        You're very welcome, Bethany. My kids get into mischief, too. Kids are curious, especially toddlers. They feel the need to explore and spill things everywhere, too. I hope your dad comes around.
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        12/02/15
        stay strong
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          11/14/15
          Bethany Reilly
          Yes, really. They expect him just to know after telling him no one time. But no! I have a 9 month old as well. I can't watch him 24/7. So yes, I will lock things up instead of risking him getting into cleaner or something that could really harm him.
          Thank you momma! I'm very happy as well. It's been nice that she got her some stuff we really needed cuz we can't afford to spend the money now! Since Matthew has no job. But I'm so glad he's got this interview. I'm praying he will get it.
          Yes, everyone I've talked to including his peditrician says its NORMAL! They just need to get over it.
          Thank you. I hope he does too.
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          About Bethany Reilly
          Current: Bedford, Virginia
          Birth: April 20
          On Moms.com since: May 3, 2014
          I am 23, raising Malachi who's 2&1/2, Elianna who is 1, & our newest addition Isaiah! Born April 15, 2016❤️