My husbands daughter has been living in our home full time since May 2015 after not seeing her since she was 7 or 8. She's okay some days but on days like ttoday it's too much. Tysia is 11 and my daughter Isis is now 7. Tysia has cut up Isis clothes when she first moved in. She yells at Isis and is very mean to her. I know the child has been through a lot but I don't feel her behavior is justified. Not now anyway.
Her attitude is awful towards me. No matter what. She's only nice when she needs me or sees me giving Isis something she wants. When she does her creative writing at school Isis is always the negative subject. She got a A. She drew a family portrait of her mother, herself and my husband, my house, my dog, my truck and got an A+... Because it was going into their artists of fame hall at school they did a recognition plaque for her at the school so my husband and I went to the school to see the art they we're putting on display.
The teacher says to my husband she captured every detail of you guys and your family is lovely don't you think.? My husband says to him that's not my family. But that is me and her mother. He says we have a 7 year old daughter too. The teacher says, " Well I asked the class to draw a current family portrait and this is a skill I've never seen in a child so young."
I know she has to adjust but what do I do.?
The best thing I can suggest is getting her into a psychologist. They can properly diagnose her and get her the help she needs.
I am so sorry you are going through this. I understand how you feel.
If my oldest were to ever move in with us, I'd be in the same boat.. As it sits now, the meaner she gets, the more privileges she loses. When she's at 'home' with 'her family' (her paternal grandparents-'I'm not family I'm just mom) she's the only child and tells me she wants to be here... When she's here, she complains constantly about having chores and having to share. It breaks my heart (and my husband usually tries to leave it to me unless she hurts-physically or emotional-one of our kids) but she loses everything... I took away her phone privileges the week of New Years she was here (talks to them 3 times a week) that was a huge fight.. But I told her grandma that she had rules here and when she didn't follow them there were consequences, this was the last thing....
I try not to treat her any different than if she were here full time... I've gone as far as to make a list of rules-and consequences if the rules aren't followed.