Court issues.

My oldest daughter has a different father and I got a hold of her real dad so I can get him to sign the adoption papers so my husband can officially adopt my daughter. He said that he would sign the papers, but now he is saying that he doesn't want to. That he wants to be apart of her life. He was into drugs hard core but him and his doctors say he has been sober for 2 years. 6 years ago he was investigated for child molestation, but was never convicted. The story into that was that he was covering for someone. He has made some really bad choices. I would like to know if I can force him to sign. He is a good man, who just makes poor decisions, but I want my husband to adopt her. I don't know what to do and really need advice on this.

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    08/25/16
    3Annie Shields
    Ok this might seem harsh but if hes a good man who wants to spend time with his daughter why are you trying to take that away from your daughter? If he is sober (and the drs confirm that) I dont see a problem with your daughter getting to know her father.

    Why are you so set on your husband adopting her? Are there specific reasons?

    My oldest hasnt seen his father in 2 years. One reason is he has been in jail the last 6 months. Second he is technically homeless (crashing with friends). He is also a felon with an arrest warrant(not what hes in jail for...long story). He is also a mental and verbal abuser who doesnt mind getting drunk around my child and when is drunk gets very angry and physically abusive.

    Even with all that I wouldnt ask him to sign over his rights for my husband to adopt because he is my sons father. If he does by chance clean up his act (very improbable) then I would slowly let him back in sons life.

    For your daughters sake dont force him to sign over his rights. Allow them to have a relationship.

    As far as the child molestation thing. Who did you hear the story about him covering from someone? If he wasnt convicted then Im guessing either he didnt do it or maybe there just wasnt enough evidence. Was someone else eventually charged? If so thats a big indication that he was innocent. If you still feel leary about that then just be vigilant and watch for signs from your daughter.
    0
    09/07/16
    He told me the story about covering for his cousin. There were no convictions in the case. I want my daughter to be able to see him and have a relationship. But him and his girlfriend are trying to get his back child support erased and they want rights to my daughter without paying child support. They want me to sign a paper saying I forgive all past, present and future debts. I don't know what to do.
    0
    09/07/16
    5Tabitha
    You need to talk to a lawyer. Custody disputes are not something you can handle by yourself. Don't sign a thing.
    0
    09/07/16
    3Annie Shields
    Ok don't sign the paper. However, he is correct that he has rights to his daughter. Let the courts handle the back child support. Is there a support order in place? If so, his wages should be being garnished and tax returns every year will be. If he has an under the table job then it will just keep adding up until he gets a real job. Him not paying support is not an excuse for taking his rights away. Yes he should be paying to help support his child. I understand. I have never received child support either. However, him not paying does not give you the right to takes his rights away.

    If you want your daughter to see him and have a relationship then why are you pushing for him to sign his rights away? That is very contradicting. How long ago did he say he would sign over his rights and then how long after that did he change his mind? In what way did you phrase the question of signing over rights? Maybe after he thought about it for awhile he realized that's not something he really wants.
    1
      08/26/16
      5Tabitha
      Annie and Tracy are right. You can't force him to do anything. Go through the courts.. You could petition for supervised visitation only, but in the end it's up the courts.
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      About Jerika Pike
      Current: Maple Falls, Washington
      Birth: August 16
      On Moms.com since: Nov 20, 2013
      I am a stay at home mom who one day hopes to open my own restaurant.