i never thought this would be so hard.

i never thought i would ever come home after having a baby empty handed. Im sitting here with my other 3 and wishing i could be with him. My baby is sitting the care of nurses. I cannot even pump milk right now to make me feel better because of an insurance snafu. I dont know when i will be able to have a pump at home. I am so torn. All four of my kids need me. My dad said that me being at home is the best thing because the three at home really need me to reassure them that their brother is ok. I just dont feel like i am going to be able to bond with Connor like i did with my other kids. This is so hard. I pray that none of you mothers have to experience hurt like this. This is truly the most painful thing i have ever done. They are talking about doing his surgery monday.

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Amanda HurleyFlat Rock, Michigan
    12/19/13
    8Theresa Gould
    So sorry Amanda. I know your mama's heart is hurting but your dad is right and what a gem he was to point it out to you. I'll be praying you can pump soon so you feel like you are doing more for Connor when you are at home. I'll be praying you will bond with Connor each time you are with him.
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    About Amanda Hurley
    Current: Flat Rock, Michigan
    Birth: October 04
    On Moms.com since: Sep 20, 2013
    I am a 28 year old SAHM of four children. Mr. Connor is my son. I am looking for some additional help for a permanent grave marker. If you would like to help with expenses or would like to send a card, please inbox me for an address and details. Thank you