Children going to strangers/acquaintances

We have a really sweet CSA member, I don't think she and her husband have any children, but she asked this week if our older children could go to her house to do a craft project. I dreaded responding to her and after discussing it with my husband I had to respond when she picked up her CSA box. I had to tell her that I would be going with the children because it's always been our policy that our children do not go to other people's homes without us, which is true. There's only been a couple of exceptions to that and it's a family with two older, responsible girls that our oldest can visit. They've actually taken care of all our little ones during one of our miscarriages. And another family took them when we went through our 2004 loss. Anyways, she ended up offering to come here and doing the craft with all the children and bringing us lunch (see? very sweet), but part of me still feels bad and worries about offending her. People we've known for years don't get the privilege of having our children over and we just met her 15 weeks ago, you know? I know our decision was the right one for us but why am I still fearing what she's thinking? I shouldn't care. I just shouldn't care.

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8Theresa GouldChicago, Illinois
    09/18/13
    Of course you care!! Don't spend your energy worrying about caring or not what she thinks.. shows that you have empathy and don't want to offend...
    I would have done the same as you. And the fact that she offered to come there... shows that she may understand your hesitance and respect that and still wants to do the craft...
    People without children, though they may be respectful.. don't really GET our deep rooted fears... or concerns. I always think being upfront and saying out loud "we don't let the kids go to others homes without us" is the only way to go.. what she thinks of that is not relevant.
    I think it's really important to tell the truth and express your family rules to anyone.. regardless of offending them and I think the only way to offend someone is to be rude or disrespectful and that's not how you handled it.

    Now.. If she WERE offended or didn't offer to come to your home, I would be extremely weary of her.. If she thought that you were being weird or unreasonable and got upset, then I would be more inclined to think that her intentions were not totally innocent...

    Don't worry..
    2
      09/18/13
      8Theresa Gould
      Thanks ladies. I am just trying not to be concerned about it so I can enjoy her visit and doing the craft with her and the children tomorrow. Now the condition of our house....that I do worry about.....sigh.
      2
      09/19/13
      8Theresa Gould
      We did thoroughly enjoy her visit and the children loved doing the craft. We really had a lovely visit. The house was mostly picked up but not perfect by any means and if she noticed she showed no indication. When she picks up next week's CSA box she is going to get some help from my oldest daughter on getting a blog set up so we can all follow her trip out of country trip in a month!
      1
      About Theresa Gould
      Current: Chicago, Illinois
      Birth: August 10
      On Moms.com since: Aug 5, 2013
      ***Baby Team Leader Moms.com*** I have been married for over 20 years. My husband and I have eight children ages 18 down to 4 years old. We use to live in Chicago but now live in Canada. I own www.FaithandFamilyReviews.com.