Children going to strangers/acquaintances
We have a really sweet CSA member, I don't think she and her husband have any children, but she asked this week if our older children could go to her house to do a craft project. I dreaded responding to her and after discussing it with my husband I had to respond when she picked up her CSA box. I had to tell her that I would be going with the children because it's always been our policy that our children do not go to other people's homes without us, which is true. There's only been a couple of exceptions to that and it's a family with two older, responsible girls that our oldest can visit. They've actually taken care of all our little ones during one of our miscarriages. And another family took them when we went through our 2004 loss. Anyways, she ended up offering to come here and doing the craft with all the children and bringing us lunch (see? very sweet), but part of me still feels bad and worries about offending her. People we've known for years don't get the privilege of having our children over and we just met her 15 weeks ago, you know? I know our decision was the right one for us but why am I still fearing what she's thinking? I shouldn't care. I just shouldn't care.
I would have done the same as you. And the fact that she offered to come there... shows that she may understand your hesitance and respect that and still wants to do the craft...
People without children, though they may be respectful.. don't really GET our deep rooted fears... or concerns. I always think being upfront and saying out loud "we don't let the kids go to others homes without us" is the only way to go.. what she thinks of that is not relevant.
I think it's really important to tell the truth and express your family rules to anyone.. regardless of offending them and I think the only way to offend someone is to be rude or disrespectful and that's not how you handled it.
Now.. If she WERE offended or didn't offer to come to your home, I would be extremely weary of her.. If she thought that you were being weird or unreasonable and got upset, then I would be more inclined to think that her intentions were not totally innocent...