When you don't like one of your friend's kids...

I have a good mom friend...I call her "mom" friend.. cause that's what she is and that's as far as our friendship goes.. mom stuff... rarely if ever to we dig deeper into any other conversation about anything else..

Regardless.. She has 3 boys.. The oldest is my sons friend.. he's a nice kid, easy going, nice.. Her middle is a total nightmare and always has been.. He's 6, the same age as my daughter.. He's loud, rambunctious, rude and hits and kicks.. She calls him "All Boy".. I nod and laugh and think you myself, he's all "Ahole"... Whatever.. I don't judge and I can handle him and my kids have known him for years are used to him and know what to expect.. Her little one is following in the middles footsteps.. He's 2 1/2 and a mini version.. And she thinks he's adorable. He's not.

We don't do playdates much anymore for this reason.. My kids don't enjoy them much anymore because if the younger two and she recently made a joke about me taking ALL of the kids for the night.. Ha ha,, I laughed and was like I can't handle 3... and then she said, "no one ever wants to take my kids for a playdate"

I let it go.. But I knew it was true and I know why... She's not the type that would HEAR what I was saying if I told her the truth.. and we are not close enough for me to assume she would want to hear it from me..

But she invited herself over to swim today after school and I have been unavailable and so I said yes, Knowing they have just an hour before soccer.. and I wish they weren't coming.. it's just too much.. they'r eloud and disrespectful of my home and my kids toys and she sort of shrugs it off as though its MY fault that I don't have 3 rambunctious boys... I try to keep them out of the apartment and only swim, but last time they changed into their soccer stuff upstairs and she put their cleats on in my livingroom and when she left I noticed dirt clogs.. from their shoes.. we in my home, take our shoes off at the door.. no matter what.. So, that I can handle and just ask her to do cleats outside.. and I don't want to NOT be her mom friend.. but it's becoming too much... whenever they leave I feel lie I've been in a war and my home is messy and my snacks are raided and she just watches it happen...

DO any of you have friends whose kids you don't like? And really DON'T like????​

01
Moms Expertise
    09/19/13
    8Theresa Gould
    Yes. We have had certain children that I just haven't wanted my children to spend time with due to their behavior because my children usually got too wound up around them and the place we usually saw these children was not conducive to rambunctious play. We tried for awhile to make it work but finally had to pull back. I think we offended some people, which wasn't our intention but "bad behavior/company can breed bad behavior" especially if you have followers and not leaders in your kid pack, like I do. Some of mine are leaders but not all of them.
    1
      09/20/13
      Yes. Youre right Theresa.. and it's not even that I worry about my kids following.. They can get wound up yes, but they aren't disrespectful...
      Yesterday they were here and they were playing with toys and kicking them across the room and pulled off their comforters and the little one threw my sons legos becasue he asked him not to touch them. After swimming, they both sat on my couch dripping wet and when MY SON asked them to get a towel, they complained.. and she said and did nothing...
      My daughter came up to me and said, "I'm ready for them to go"... And soon they did and after my son, said, " I don't want them here again"

      I've worked hard to teach my kids respect for their own home and toys.. and though they are kids and can still struggle with it, watching them react when someone ELSE disrespects their things is nice...But frustrating..

      I sort of wish she would ask why my kids were so quiet while they were there... Or why my son called her son rude as they were leaving as he had just gone into my sons room and threw all of his stuffed animals on the floor,,.to be funny and my son was PISSED... I almost HOPE she asks me and I would be very nice but tell her the truth.. it's a total madhouse when they're here.. I mean MAD house.. Like a terrible preschool playground.. it's shocking and SHE didn't pick up their wet towels from the floor or ask them to not sit in wet clothes and take their shoes off.

      When We go to someones house, I've taught them to be kind and respectful and follow whatever rules we have here, there... no matter what..

      I'm just so irritated...But all I can do is just be kind and go about my life.. she may never get it.. and find herself alone a lot.. Or she will blame it on me that we don't have a bigger place for them to run free... But her home, though they have a yard is gross and messy and out of control..

      Ugh... Okay.. thanks for letting me vent. :)
      2
      09/20/13
      8Theresa Gould
      Ugh.....I don't know how you put up with it. I haven't had to deal with that kind of situation. Is the mom tired and uses your place as a way to get a break or what? Blind? Doesn't care?

      I think I'd get a little irritated and start asking the children myself to do things in front of the mother to see if she gets the point. Do the children listen to you? Maybe she needs to be taught how to teach her children to pick up and respect things, especially other people's property. It may or may not work. Maybe you've already tried that approach.

      It's just sad you and your children no longer enjoy their visits. :(
      1
        09/20/13
        Comment deleted
        10/03/13
        8Theresa Gould
        It's always hard to speak up, but once your children are involved it somehow gets a little easier especially when you need to speak up for them or their well-being. At least that's how it's been for me. Mama Bear knows how to roar when she needs to. (wry smile). With friends though, it's always harder because you don't want to hurt feelings or lose friendships for speaking up.
        2
        About Jessica
        Born: Novato, California
        Current: Sherman Oaks, California
        Birth: May 28
        On Moms.com since: Aug 5, 2013
        We live in Los Angeles, CA. I'm a writer, comedian, actor and single mom of two. Parenting is hard. I try to keep a sense of humor about it all and find the find the funny... in what is most likely NOT funny (i.e. boogers, meltdowns, homework, etc.).