moody 8 yr old

my son just turned 8 and seems to think he doesn't need to listen to anyone. he tells me repeatedly that "he knows everything" and somehow EVERYTHING he gets in trouble for is someone else's fault. i feel as though i've tried every tactic to deal with this. his father (who i am no longer with) has always been disrespectful to me and would talk over me constantly! any tips to staying sane???

4NicoleReading, Pennsylvania
    Oh man.. I have a newly 9 year old son and I totally get it.. My son seems to know it all.. and will even condescend to ME... And taking responsibility is a challenge as well.. My son is pretty awesome and it rarely is an issue, but yes... I totally get it..

    All I can offer is stay calm and true to your words.. give your stock answer or just ignore him when he argues over something stupid...

    I find myself saying this a lot "You don't have to agree with me or even like it, but I'm your mom and you do it because you have to.. Period"...

    I tell him " I don't have to explain myself to you.. and shocker... you don't have to get it or agree with it"...

    And he will usually quiet down...

    Hang in there.. if it's any help, as long as he's not abusive to you verbally then it's just a phase.. one of many... ugh...
      I teach Tae Kwon Do to kids about 7-10 years old and I always have one or two kids who are in the 'know-it-all' phase. We lay down the rules right away. They include things like: Always listen while the instructor is talking, You are responsible for your own actions - no one else, Always use respectful language (please, thank you), Respect those higher rank then you at all times (say yes sir/ma'am), Listen and understand first - try to be heard second. They are written on a big poster that all the kids can see so no one can say they didn't know the rules. If a child breaks a rule, even a minor offense, they get a warning. If they try to argue or blame someone else we simply ignore it and walk away. If they break a rule again they get 10 push-ups (constructive consequence). If they argue we ignore it and just stay straight-faced until all 10 push-ups are done. This has led to a tantrum or two, but in the end the consequence is always fulfilled. If they do something wrong again it's 20 push-ups, anything after that they have to sit out for the rest of the activity.

      The trick is to not get angry or give into arguing with them. A know-it-all can keep you bantering with them until you're so emotionally invested you lose control. Simple rules and simple consequences teach them to respect you. It's hard when they've seen others disrespect you but you have to show them that isn't an okay way to be. I know these rules are geared towards Tae Kwon Do, but you could tweak it to fit your house rules. Imagine how surprised your son would be if you introduced this system at home!
        8Theresa Gould
        I agree with what the others have said. It's tough and it's unfortunate that your ex showed you so much disrespect but I think your son is still young enough for you to reverse what he's witnessed. Good luck!
          thanks for the input...nice to know I'm not alone ( :
          About Nicole
          Current: Reading, Pennsylvania
          Birth: November 14
          On since: Dec 16, 2013
          Hi. My name is Nicole. My honey is Matt. Between the two of us, we have 7 kids. We just had our first together in September. We also have a pit bull, a rabbit, 2 lovebirds and 3 lizards. I am a stay at home mom. I was previously a Toddler teacher.