Stressed

I'm so stressed and so tired of being stressed. We go to court in the end of January to find out who gets full custody of my nephew, me or his maternal grandmother. I cant stop thinking about it, I'm always trying to figure out if there's something more I could do. I honesty feel like I'm going to court over my own child. And there's that 50-50 chance I may end up with him or my not. And his maternal grandmother is already acting a bit crazy I have had him every weekend for months and months, now all of a sudden she'll get pissed for whatever reason and wont let me have him. I hate having to go by what she says( she has temporary custody) and hate that she has any control of my life. She is no one to me but Lukas' grandmother, so why should she get a say so in my life? And the truth of it is, is Lukas would rather be there than here because I have rules, he has a bedtime, and I dont let him walk around with a container of sour patch kids 24/7. And it hurts my feeling, I know its just because I have rules and no one else has rules for him and babies/spoils him because everything hes been through(but how good is that for him) but it still hurts. He loves being her when he is here, he listens, doesn't complain, runs around and plays with the girls and in his bedroom and just acts like a normal kid. I'm so scared that she'll end up getting custody of him and only letting us see him when she feels it's conveint for her. Also I have been around that boy his whole life, the day he was born,I watched him for free everyday the first year of his life so his parents could finish school, every bday, every holiday, and almost everyday for 2 years. But his grandmother wasn't there. His parents and him lived with my mother till he was about 3 1/2 then they moved out on their own, only then did he start staying with his maternal grandmother, and she never came to bday parties or holidays because she didn't want to put up with our family for whatever reason because we never did anything to her. I'm just crazy stressed about the whole situation and I know I will be until its all done and over with. Thanks for listening to me vent :)

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Tessa
    12/31/13
    Comment deleted
    12/31/13
    Tessa
    Thank you Kim :) I just put everything into Gods hands and know he'll do whats right. Its just stressful waiting and praying I am whats right for him.
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      12/31/13
      This is tough .. That feeling of your future being in someone elses hands.. and someone who may not have all the facts... It's hard when a child likes being somewhere else better just because they don't have any rules.. When my step son was little, he would go back n forth and his mom let hime eat and do and watch anything and it drove us nuts..
      IF the custody goes to the maternal Grandmother.. and really if it does NOT... Then either way.. the best thing you can do. (and hardest thing.. I know.. trust me) is to make nice with her.. and come together some how and be a family for this boy...

      Seems he needs this and would benefit from not being pulled into two different ways and places, but if you could find a way to let it go and just be there for him..

      It's the hardest thing in the world to truly make it about the kids.. especially when the other person is an ***hole.. BUT.. you will feel much better if you can just say.. okay.. whatever happens happens and I'll do the best I can to be there for HIM.. and work hard to be kind to the grandma so that if she does get custody, you still can have your nephew in your life.. and maybe BOTH of them come over for dinner and holidays... as hard as it would be.. isnt' that ideal?

      I get it. It's easier said than done.. Believe me.. I've been down some serious roads like this with a step sons family and now my kids and their dads new wifes family... it ain't easy, but we make it work and about our two kids and my step son and we all get together for bdays and an hour on holidays if possible.. and share special events..

      Is it ideal? Heck no.. LOL.. I don't know what "Ideal" would look like.. but I will tell you that my kids are happy, healthy, confident and LOVED...

      Hang in there.. take a breath.. it's out of your hands now.. you can't control what's going to happen, only what you do with the outcome...

      I hope your nephew is placed where he's meant to be... :) KEEP US POSTED!!
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      12/31/13
      Tessa
      Thanks for the encouraging words Jessica. I've been putting him first through the whole process and made nice with his grandmother and my girls love her and I have and will continue to keep my mouth shut so she has nothing to use against me but its so hard when her mood flips like crazy and its hard cause I honestly think she just wants custody of him to rule and control everyone else's lives mainly mine and his parents( his mom is her daughter) but I do think she is a good grandmother to him but shes just that a grandmother, with no rules or structure and feeds him sugar nonstop. Thanks for the advice I've done all I can do and have to put my trust into God.
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        12/31/13
        It's the worst when the other person you're dealing with is not as fair as you... I remember clearly... when that other person remains a jerk.. and somehow comes out ahead..

        You're right though.. Let go Let God... Try not to worry about it yet (HA).. but really.. try to stay in your day and have faith.. You're stronger than you know.
        1
        12/31/13
        Tessa
        Thank you alot :) I really needed to hear those words. I love that saying Let go and Let God, I think I just found my new moto( sorry for spelling lol)
        1
          12/31/13
          8Theresa Gould
          Hoping and praying for the best for all of you. I can't imagine what you are going through right now.
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          About Tessa
          Birth: March 06
          On Moms.com since: Nov 13, 2013
          I'm a proud stay at home mom of 2 awesome daughters ages 3&4. And I have my 5 year old nephew every weekend. Just doing the best I can to raise some great kids with my great hubby :)