Little girls can be Mean and I Have to listen to it!!

Ugh.. My soon to be 7 year old daughter plays downstairs with two of our neighbors... they are both girls and one is in 3rd and the other in 2nd.. and my daughter is in 1st... MOST of the time they play pretty well together.. Three is never easy and these two girls have been neighbors for years and we are fairly new here...

Sometimes, I hear them.. when they are all just sitting and playing barbies or coloring and just playing with rocks.. and those girls can be SO SNOTTY to my daughter... just their tone.. or they will say to her.. "you're being sort of annoying, can you just go away?"... Or they will say things like, "That's because you're still a baby"..

I KNOW that kids can be that way and I'm far more bothered than my daughter is.. she doesn't seem to care... she's the happiest little person in the world.. and I'm so grateful.. But I HATE it... I hate that they can be like that to her THEN when the other is gone, they have NO problem coming up to ask her to play AND borrow our balls and jump ropes...

I went down there one time and I said nicely.. Because both the girls are actually VERY sweet... I just said to them, "listen.. I can hear everything you say to her.. and She's 6 and younger than you.. but besides that, I would hope that her friends treat her nicer if they're going to come over to our home and play and eat our snacks.." and they apologized... and were nicer for a few weeks as I would make sure they saw my face every 20 minutes... (I can hear and see everything from my apartment upstairs...we over look the courtyard)..

MY first reaction was to be mean back... MEAN GIRLS SUCK... and I wanted to protect my daughter and realized that instead of pulling her inside that I could ONLY arm her with something better... knowledge, confidence and words... Something I wish I had back when mean girls were mean to me...

I told her.. Look.. girls say mean things sometimes and they can BE mean... and then the next day they act like they're your best friend.. I told her that no matter what, she needs to speak up for herself.. that it doesn't mean she doesn't have to play with them.. it just means that people need to treat you the WAY you ALLOW them to treat you...

I told her that when they say things like that.. to tell them.. calmly and matter of factly.. that's not nice, I wouldn't say that to you.. Or you guys are being mean...

I reminded her that their moms aren't out there ever playing with them and maybe they feel sad inside (i'm out A LOT) and sad can make people mad... ( I don't know that this is true.. but I'm trying to let her know that it's not HER they're nasty at.. they're just nasty)...

it happens still a little and my daughter handles it and I want to cry.. BUT.. she's in 1st grade and I know it will get worse and harder and nastier... I want her to have the experience at home to rally up and stay strong... but man is it hard.. when I want to go MEAN girls all over those little 9 year old

Moms Expertise
    Comment deleted
    OMG... SO mean. .and yes.. I wanted to say some really awful things to them... AWFUL... But, my bigger concern is my daughter.. and not in 3rd grade (it doesn't happen in 1st... ) is when she's older.. and she's taller and bigger than most and I worry that people will be nasty .. As long as she's loved and adored at home... I hope...

    I'm just trying to give her the tools I wish I had at that age when girls were mean to me... BLAH...
      Lol I hear ya. I would have the hardest time not being a crazy over protective momma and being mean to those girls. But you handled it in a great way :). We can only control ourselves and that's something kids need to know early, there will always be mean girls and mean people in the world.
        Those girls got a mouth full from me for sure, but I also have to be careful because my daughter is at that age, where mom may embarrass her and make her look and feel young.. it's a fine line.. I told them nicely and matter of factly that I hear them and that they need to speak nicer if they expect to play with her anymore.. and that thee's no reason to be nasty just to be nasty.. then I went away... For the most part they are fun friends for her.. mostly and it happens.. If they were out right mean.. calling her names or making fun of her or ganging up at all, I would NOT hesitate to speak and also talk to their moms.. My daughter seems un bothered.. I mean she's not loving it, but sort of knows that they're just being shitty to her and doesn't run off crying or anything..
        I'm proud of her, but I still want to make sure that she's got the tools in how to talk to people and demand respect.. it's hard.. but girls are just crappy sometimes.. I HATE it.. and I refuse to EVER let my daughter be one of "them" and she knows this...

        I always say, "Stay Kind. Speak your mind."..

        But it's tough and I seriously want to go street on them :).. I'm glad the F bomb didn't slip out, then I look bad.. lol
        About Jessica
        Born: Novato, California
        Current: Sherman Oaks, California
        Birth: May 28
        On since: Aug 5, 2013
        We live in Los Angeles, CA. I'm a writer, comedian, actor and single mom of two. Parenting is hard. I try to keep a sense of humor about it all and find the find the funny... in what is most likely NOT funny (i.e. boogers, meltdowns, homework, etc.).