There are no words to describe what I am feeling right now. I am numb. All of the doctors faces are jumbled in my head. All of the words and diagnoses are swirling around in my head like a pot of soup. I knew there may be problems with my baby, but this??? Now I have to see if his brother or sister can help him out. He cannot fight anymore on his own. Transplants, t cells, complete digeorge, it all seems surreal. I have to go home and leave my baby to fight. I have to be a wife and mother and don't get time to process, grieve, yell scream or cry. I have to deal with it. How?? By doing my duties as a woman. This is even harder than leaving him before his surgery for his heart. I am so numb. Trying to be strong, but needing to process.