My youngest daughter is 5 and her birthday is September 4th. My middle daughter is 9 years old and her birthday is July 22nd.
Over the past two (2) years, my husbands side of the family has scheduled a week long beach family vacation which includes his parents, his sister and brother and all of there children the week before our family reunion.
This family vacation week has been enjoyed by all and has been a wonderful experience for all of the children to have the opportunity to bond with their cousins.
This vacation has fallen over my middle child's birthday (July22nd) the past 2 years. Whereby, my youngest daughter (Elizabeth) has recently been stating that it is not fair that her sister has her birthday at the beach and she does not get to have a beach birthday.
I have explained to her that unfortunately her birthday falls during the school year, as does the majority of her cousins and does not allow for her to have a beach vacation with all of her cousins.
Elizabeth's personality is that she is constantly pushing her limits to see how far she push you. If you make an exception to a rule (crawling into bed with you for one (1) night, then it is a week's struggle getting her back into her own bed) I personally, do not ever make a threat of a punishment I will not follow through on. However, my husband is not so good at this.
In addition, she attempts to whine and cry her way into or out of any situation.
I have learned that just being stern with her and setting specific boundaries has worked best with her.
This evening, my husband informed me that Elizabeth was upset that her sister gets to have her birthday during our beach vacation and she does not and that is not fair. His suggested solution is that we allow her to celebrate her birthday this year in July as opposed to September to make her feel better, or not left out.
My view is obviously not the same as I feel that we would be setting a precedence that if she whines and/or cries enough over something that does not suit her, then we will accommodate it.
My husband believes that she is only 5 years old and does not understand and that for one year, we should make the accommodation and celebrate her birthday in July as opposed to September to make her feel good.
He thinks I am being mean and insensitive to her. I love my daughter with all of my being, but I believe I just know her and her personality and believe we would just be creating a whole other issue/problem if we make this accommodation.
Please let me know your thoughts. I am looking for some "out of the box" insight from parents who may have strong willed children.