In desperate need of some advice with what I should do with my 16 y/o step son. He is on medication for anger issues, mood swings and depression. But some things he has been doing is outrageous. And the only excuse I get is I thought I was smart enough no

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Cristy Gorum PooleMemphis, Michigan
    As for me, I was troubled teen too (leaving home, skiped school, etc.), it was sooo hard for my parents to deal with me. And then I just outgrown it. But given the fact that you step son takes pills, then the cause is more serious than the awkward age. You need to find the cause of this and try to help the child to eliminate this cause. Try to talk to him, ask how he's doing at school, find out what he is interested in (if it, for example, riding a bicycle, then buy a bike for yourself and ride with him). You need to show the boy that you are a friend for him and that you will help him to deal with any nuisance. And, of course, be patient and remember that he is still a child.
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      10/06/13
      Hi Cristy.. first off - welcome! Hopefully we can be kind ears to you and give what advice we have as well :) So sorry you are going through this with your step son.. sounds like a rocky situation. I would say (from no experience tho) that communication is key when it comes to any tension, anger and mood swings.. do you all talk open and often about his problems or issues? Understand where he is coming from? Make him feel heard? I always know those points are crucial.
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        Amanda Hurley
        Cristy, I too was a troubled teen. I was in and out of foster homes and lock up facilities. Maybe one of the things you should do is let him know that you are there for him no matter what. Also, I don't know the whole situation, but it sounds like he may be having issues with the fact that you are not his biological mother. Maybe try to bond with him, and show him you WANT to be there, and not just because you are married to his dad and have to be there.
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          10/07/13
          Comment deleted
            10/07/13
            Kerri Brimmer
            Be sure to let him know that you care what happens to him. My teen does not act like she is listening, and thinks I am stupid and unreasonable, like most teens, but she does take to heart the limits I set and takes them seriously (later, in private, and not letting me know!) I know I did the same with my mother. Since you are his step mom, he is probably especially resistant. Perhaps you could just be a constant source of support and love, listening not lecturing (since they tune it out), with short, concise, expectations set, however, when it comes to his safety. He will at least know he can come home where he is loved, not matter what.

            Strange to hear myself say that! Some days it is a struggle to just be with my daughter. Most days I feel like I am making NO progress with her... but she has let me know in the past that the most important thing was that she knew she had a permanent supportive base at home. She has to work her way through her own struggles (disability and depression), and is often rude and harsh, but hopefully knows she is loved! Even when I am angry at her I try to find a kind word and give her a hug. It's not easy!
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              10/07/13
              8Theresa Gould
              I'm sorry you have to go through this. Have you talked to his doctor about the side affects of the drugs? Can they make things worse? Just a question. Hugs!
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                10/08/13
                Kerri Brimmer
                One more thought... if he is really acting out it is probably on purpose. Crying out for help? Revenge for being grown ups? To get your attention? Maybe address it directly if you get a rare moment when a boy actually wants to talk. (Mine never does).
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                About Cristy Gorum Poole
                Current: Memphis, Michigan
                Birth: April 13
                On Moms.com since: Oct 5, 2013
                Hello my name,is cristy I was born and raised in florida, I move to michigan almost 3 years ago. I have been with my husband for 2 years and married for 1. He has 3 beautiful children from 2 previous relationships. I never was able to have any yet.
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