Bought a parenting book!
My first one in a while. I bought a few when my baby was in her early months, as a hope that if I would just read enough, subscribe to all the informative emails, that I would have the answers. What I didn't realize was that even if you have "the answers," that doesn't necessarily "fix" things, AKA babies cry, and few new parents get much sleep, and that's how it goes, and it doesn't mean that anything is wrong.
Okay, so I'm very much past all of that, but I do subscribe to the API Reading Group through GoodReads, and the discussions over the book, The Science of Parenting, look so interesting. I'm a little disappointed that I can't get a reasonable e-version of the book, so I went for the paperback. I may report back with my findings.
"It is important to understand this when faced with a genuinely distressed, screaming baby or child. He needs your help to calm down. With consistently emotionally responsive parenting like this, your child's frontal lobes will start to develop essential brain pathways that will, over time, enable him to calm these alarm states in his lower brain.
When a child is not given enough help with his intense lower brain feelings and primitive impulses, his brain may not develop the pathways to enable him to manage stressful situations effectively. The legacy in later life is that he will not develop the higher human capacity for concern, or the ability to reflect on his feelings in a self-aware way. Brain scans show that many violent adults are still-driven, just like infants, by their ancient rage/fear and defense/attack responses deep in the mammalian and reptilian parts of the brain. These brain scans show all too little activity in the parts of the higher brain that naturally regulate and modify raging feelings. Just like toddlers, such adults can be regularly overwhelmed by powerful feelings without the capacity to calm themselves effectively."
I find this idea so interesting and compelling that I'm literally sold to find out more. Note that I'm working off of this excerpt alone, so I'm not prepared to start discussing it fully.
Also, if anyone is interested in the API Reads group, here's the link: