1 am Irritation

I have no idea why at 1 am this is finally hitting me or bothering me, but a friend of mine and I were talking about fictional characters, such as Santa Clause, the Easter Bunny and Tooth fairy, a while back. I explained to her that we do not believe that our children should take part of these characters. When Jasmine lost her first tooth, my dad took her out for ice cream. She did not put it under her pillow. I have told her that other mommy's and daddy's do it, and to change the subject if it is ever mentioned, its just not something we do. I was told, by my friend, that I am depriving my children of their childhood, by not allowing them to believe that these characters are real. What do you ladies think, am I such a horrible mother for not allowing my kids to believe in these characters??​

Amanda HurleyFlat Rock, Michigan
    ))) Amanda, oh no, terrible, you are terrible!!! The Tooth Fairy is real, I know!))
    Why do you bother about it? It's only your choice what to tell to your kids.
    I dont think it's critical for their future to believe in Easter Bunny now.
    But about Santa... I think you cant avoide Santa - he is "all around" 1 month a year and kids will need the explanation why all people loves Santa and so one).
    But as for me it's much more tradition - not a real person).
    And one more thing: kids would believe in magick just because they are kids. It doesnt depends on your words.
      Well I wouldn't go as far as saying that you're a bad mom... but question: how come you don't do these things? Just curious...

      I have friends who don't do santa or the tooth fairy and their kids are fine.. my kids on the other hand believe and I love it.. it's just a little fun kids thing.. no harm done and it's fun and exciting.. a fairy tale.. I DO remember though some of the best memories I have as a child is the tooth fairy and santa.. and though when I found out the truth - i was sad for a day or two.. I feel like why not? make the time more magical and childlike? How you tell them the truth is up to you and there is some damage control..lol.. But like Meg said,.. to each is own..

      The kids that "ruin" it for my kids.. I just tell my kids that people believe in different things.. Like God and life after death and reincarnation... it's up to them to choose these things and why not?

      I don't think you're depriving your kids at all !!!! But I am curious as to why not?
      Amanda Hurley
      I am not your traditional go to church every Sunday type of Christian, but we do believe in Jesus as our saviour. I feel that if they find out that I lied to them about Santa, will they still believe in God and Jesus?? I also focus on the "true" meaning of Holidays. I feel that Santa and the Easter Bunny take away from the holidays.
        8Theresa Gould
        Amanda, we don't do any of those things either and as far as I know from at least two of my older girls (teens) they do not and did not feel deprived. You are not a bad mother.

        I know for us, we grew up in homes that did those things and missed out celebrating the real reason without all the fluff and commercialism so we opted to focus on Christ. That does not mean we do not have fun. We make cookies, we decorate a tree, we have gifts, we have lights etc. and our children LOVE it. We make our own celebration, our own style.

        One thing I've learned is do not compare yourself to other moms. You have your reasons for doing things differently. The only time I have found comparing myself to be a positive thing is when I've learned a different way of mothering that improves my own mothering style.

        You were given your children for a reason so you are the BEST mother for them. Don't ever forget that. You were made for them, just as much as your children were made for you!
        I kinda needed this today. I ran into that mom that looks perfect . She always has her hair nails and makeup done and never looks stressed. Her husband is very helpful and is a stay at home mom. I have to remind myself they make a lot of money and have a house keeper daily and doesn't live a real motherhood life really. I was feeling down on myself bc I ran into her not even realizing my shirt was on inside out and my hair not brushed. Hey my kid always looks cute though and is very happy but it just made me feel like a frumpy mess. Her looking all perfect all the time
          I totally agree with Theresa as well.. Everyone chooses for their own family... I think it's depends MOST on how you handle it with your kids.. .If you approach it like they ARE missing something then they will feel that... You play it how you want it to be played.. IF everything else is made special and you have your things then they won't feel like you jacked them at all..

          My kids don't get to play outside past 5... the other kids do.. a lot of them younger than mine.. we are over the courtyard so they see and hear them playing and they will ask to go out and I remind them that our rules are different and then they sort of shrug it off...

          My point.. lol. I have a a point.. I get that it's not the same.. but I guess what Im trying to say is that if you apologize or feel like you are letting them down - they will pick up on that and think hey.. what are we missing... Does that make sense? Say it quite simply... we don't believe in that stuff and some families do.. no better ..no worse .. just different...

          No one has been in therapy or in jail cause their mama didn't "give" them santa... ( I don't think anyway..)...

          AS for your "friend" - tell her that while you appreciate her point of view - the same could be said of her and their "lies" and that it's all perspective and she should get some...Remind her we are not here to judge.. not our job,,,

          Right Theresa???
          8Theresa Gould
          Yep, you are quite right, Jessica. And maybe that's why our kids don't feel deprived, we were confident in our decision and we didn't make it to feel like we were doing the wrong thing.
            For the record.. we are christians and go to church every Sunday and Jesus is a huge part of our lives - We also do Santa, Easter Bunny, etc. and also teach the real meaning of these Holidays as well... There's the real reason and story and the fun, silly part of it all..
            As for wondering if they believe in Santa if they'll believe in Jesus... to me.. that seems silly. Santa is a fictional character.. made of over the years through tales and imagination.. Jesus is real.. existed.. walked on this Earth.. so for me.. it's two totally different things.. one is fun fantasy and silliness and the other is truth and reality. To compare believing In Santa and believing in Jesus for me, is irrelevant..

            But again.. choose what's right for your family and your kids and for YOU... a childhood is about love and family and warmth and kindness and support... for me, the fairy tale side of the holidays is just that.. a fairy tale.. fun and exciting and silly... I think that if you mislead your kids into thinking that Santa is REAL.. is a grey area.. how do you play it up without giving them an idea that it's truth... that's up to you..

            Don't let anyone tell you any different or judge you for your own choices...
            About Amanda Hurley
            Current: Flat Rock, Michigan
            Birth: October 04
            On Moms.com since: Sep 20, 2013
            I am a 28 year old SAHM of four children. Mr. Connor is my son. I am looking for some additional help for a permanent grave marker. If you would like to help with expenses or would like to send a card, please inbox me for an address and details. Thank you